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"Love. The hidden spring of life, and soul's desire. Oh, How love can be so powerful." — Edwin Leibfreed. (edited poem)
Ξ GU,OD Ξ
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My body felt numb. My hearing subsided, blocking the screams and cries. My mind went blank but my heart was filled with so much pain. I could literally feel it shatter in a million pieces. I felt my body crouch down, my knees hitting the pavement but yet no pain shot through my body nor my consciousness. I felt the blood seep through my jeans. I only kept mumbling one thing and one thing only. "Rico.."
Though my eyes remained focused on only the little boy — being too shocked to move, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a familiar figure crouch down beside us. He placed his palm against the back of his other hand and brought it to Rico's chest. "Vamos, pequeño. Respirar. (Come on, little one. Breathe." Oscar spoke as he started to reanimate him.
As he tried to let Rico breathe, mine started to become heavy. The realization of this little boy dying seemed to leave my subconsciousness and enter my consciousness. Tears filled my eyes. "Call 911!" Oscar shouted angrily at the group of people who were surrounding us, just watching. Thick tears travelled down my cheek.
The distant roaring of a siren reached my ears. It seemed someone had already called them before Oscar said so. He stopped reanimating him when he saw it was to no avail. Rico kept his eyes shut and his pulse kept on weakening. My eyes flickered over to something he held in his right hand. I was surprised it didn't catch my attention before. An artificial white rose with specks of blood on it rested his in soft, tiny hand. Oscar clenched his jaw and slowly slid it out of his hand.
"He can't be dead.. he just can't. H-he's so young, Oscar." I mumbled. "Hey, look at me.." he spoke so low it was barely a whisper. "Look at me, Sin." I flickered my teary eyes over to his sad ones. "He's going to be okay. Don't worry. Everything's gonna be okay-"
He was interrupted by a medical worker who picked up Rico's fragile body from the ground which was covered in his blood. She joined the other workers who were waiting to secure him to the stretcher. "Can I go with him?" I managed to utter though my voice broke as I spoke those words. She shook her head. "You will have to ride behind us."
"But-" Oscar cut me off by sliding his hand in mine. My eyes immediately shot over to our hands entwined together. "We'll be right behind you." He stated before gently pulling me towards his red Impala. He swung the door to the passengers side open and stepped aside. I was too dumbfounded by the whole situation to make a remark on his odd behavior and stepped in. He ran over to his side.
His brown orbs attentively followed the medical workers who were loading the stretcher in the van. As soon they stepped in, he rotated the key — roaring the car to life.
The car ride was a silent and one full of tension. Relief washed over me as we came to a halt at the hospital. I stepped out, not waiting for him as I followed the medical workers to the emergency department.
"Excuse me, miss, he's going into surgery. You have to wait in the waiting room." She announced before she shut the blue, thin curtain, cutting me off from my view on the boy I grew to love so much.
Just as I entered in the waiting room, Oscar walked in. He saw the expression on my face and sat beside me in silence. Minutes, maybe hours went by as we just sat next to one another saying absolutely nothing. Though the situation we were in wasn't ideal, the silence between us was comforting.
"Why did he hold a rose?" I questioned, breaking the trusting silence.
✞
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I cleared my throat as those words left her lips. "Why did he hold a rose?" Guilt filled my entire being. He had brought that rose because of me. He was there, because of me.
TWO MONTHS AGO. "I want to go for a walk." Rico chimed as he threw the empty juice box container in the trashcan. "Okay." I replied inattentively as I focused on the text I was doubting to send. Since I wasn't dealing with Sin, I felt the need to replace her with someone else. I was contemplating whether or not to send Flaco a text. Rico cleared his throat. I shot my head up to him. "Right now, hombre?"
"Duh. Why would I ask it now if I didn't intend to go on that walk now?" I stood up from the couch and playfully grabbed him by the neck. "Hey, don't get smart with me, alborotador. (troublemaker)"
I brought him to the beach where I had been with Cesar before. "Ossie?" I made a sound in the back of my throat, signaling that he had my attention. "When are you gonna make up with Sindie?" I looked down at him — hope shining through his honey brown orbs. "Listen, Rico.. adults fight. Some of them make up right after, while some part their ways and never talk to each other again."
"So what you're saying is that you and Sindie aren't gonna talk to each other anymore?" I nodded. "Well, I don't believe you. I know that you like her." I rolled my eyes and shook my head in disapproval. "I don't, Rico." He let out a heavy sigh. "Yes, you do. Just promise me that for my birthday, as my present, you will tell Sindie how you feel about her. All your feelings. Okay?" I ran my hand over my head. This little mijo could stress you like nothing else in the world mattered but that.
"Okay. I will." I uttered truthfully. After that conversation I tried to break some of my mental defense walls. I couldn't just pour my feelings out and then be hard again. It would only make matters worse for the both of us.
That was two months ago. Since then he had been telling me how he would buy a rose for me to give to Sin. I just didn't understand why the hell he would give it to me at that time. It was almost 3 o'clock in the morning. I suddenly felt my nerves multiply when I realized that Rico's birthday was in two days. Not only because I made a promise to him to pour my feelings out to Sin but also because he had been shot days before his birthday.. and I didn't know if he would be alive to experience his 7th birthday.
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