Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
"I lost myself to you." — Sindya Finnie.
Ξ GU,OD Ξ
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
"I have some news to share with you." The doctor announced as we entered his office. "Is Rico okay?" Sin directly asked. "Yes. He just got out of the surgery. Everything went great but-" Sin scoffed and shook her head. "Of course there's a but." She spoke under her breath. "We have discovered that Rico fell into a coma." My eyes shot from Sin — up to the doctor. "The f*ck are you talking about? A coma?!" I shrieked. He uncomfortably pushed his small glasses further up his pointy nose. "For how long?" Sin questioned. "We suspect for a couple of months. Four at the least."
She placed her hands on top of her head as she gazed at the ground. "He's in his room, 32B, if you wish to see him." I shot up from the chair I was sitting in, the metal screeching against the floor. Sin followed me as I angrily swung the door open, walking towards Rico's room.
He lied peacefully in the hospital bed with countless of tubes connected to him. I sat on the chair beside the bed. Sin walked over to him. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she carefully hugged him. "You can't die, Rico. I need you." She mumbled. "Come on, Sin, he has to rest. You can't hug him like that."
She shook her head and kept her arms around him. I walked over to her side and gently pulled her up by her waist. Her cries became louder as she clung onto me. I wrapped my arms tightly around her as I caressed her back in a soothing manor. "It's okay, Sin."
She sat in my lap as her head rested on my shoulder. "Do you know who did this?" I shook my head. "Not yet but I'll find out. I promise you."
✞
Minutes — hours had passed as we sat there, asking ourselves if he would make it. A sigh slipped from my lips as I glanced down at Sin who I had engulfed in my arms. "I'm sorry." Her glossy brown orbs flickered up to mine. "Sorry for what?" I ran my finger in soothing circular motions along her back as I stared down at her. "I'm sorry for pushing you away, hurting you and for all the things I've said to you. You didn't deserve all that drama."
A small smile stained her lips, though it didn't match the emotions she held in her eyes. "You're a drama queen. You can't help it." I playfully poked her in her waist, causing a giggle to roll off her tongue. "I'm trying to apologize here."
She shifted slightly, turning her body towards me. "Though I'm still mad at the shit you put me through, I can't be anymore. Life is too short to hold grudges." She said softly as she shifted her gaze to the unconscious Rico at the end of her sentence.
A sliver of realization struck through me. I was the gang leader of the Santos. I had a tag on my back every second of the day I had been blessed to experience. It could have been me who was shot. It could've been me lying in this coma. My life could be taken away from me at any given moment and I was too selfish to not unwrap the gift I had before me.
"I want to do this with you, Sin." Her head shot back to me, surprise dwelling in her eyes. "Do what with me?"
We stared at each other, feelings that couldn't be translated into words, were exchanged in this one gaze. It was as if our eyes were two magnets, that were perfectly drawn to one another. "I want to be with you. Fuck all the things I said. I want you, fool."
✞
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
All the feelings I managed to suppress in the months I didn't have contact with Oscar, resurfaced as soon as those words floated into my ears. I was glad he didn't forget about me. I was glad I wasn't the only one caught up in his existence, but it was too soon. I still needed time, time for myself — to learn how to love myself. "I would love that, Oscar, but I can't be the woman you want me to be, if I don't even fully know myself yet. I lost myself to you. I was too busy filling you up — trying to make you happy — that I lost a part of myself."
He stopped running his finger in circular motions on my back and leaned forward. "I'll wait for you, Sindya. It doesn't matter how long I'll have to wait. Even if I'm old and shriveled up with a side muchacha (girl), I'll still be waiting for you." I smacked him on the chest, letting out a small laugh.
"Promise?" I questioned, holding up my pinky finger. I could only focus on his lips that silently lifted and formed a smile as he raised his pinky, entwining it with mine.
