Oath

Chapter 30

"What?" A cold sound getting lost in the silence. Looks drowned in confusion exchanged between the two players of this deceiving game. "What did you say?" The same demanding voice, only this time a touch more shaky. You dug the nails of your frozen fingers into Jimin's arms, as if that small pain was enough of a punishment for the grief the words you've clearly heard, but refused to believe, have brought you. You sought confirmation, to hear those cursed words again. You wanted Jimin to push the blade deeper into your heart, to destroy you completely, for reasons that beat even your own self.

"You're not deaf, now, are you, Y/N?" Jimin turned his head just enough for his judgmental eyes to fall on you.

Somewhere in the depths of your brain, something was not clicking, but the wave of doubt went unnoticed. Flashback to not even half a day earlier. How did he react back then? Oh yeah, he aggressively pulled you out of the car, then threatened to kill you was Taehyung to die, he was burning with rage. But now he was suspiciously composed, considering the kind of news he was conveying.

"He's dead," Jimin continued. He broke free when your grip loosened.

In your head, information was travelling at the speed of light, bits and pieces connecting into a blurry picture. Something was not right. But what? WHAT? With your eyes running across the floor, you missed Jimin leaving the room, and by the time you finally figured it out, you had nobody to spill your anger over. Yoongi was the only one left in the hallway with you, standing a few feet back still not sure what to say. He opted for silence all along, but that would not hold much longer. You were so tired of being lied to, being pushed to the side, and wronged, that you were willing to push through with whatever was on your mind till someone gave you the answer.

"He's lying," you murmured.

"Y/N..." Yoongi closed his eyes and sighed.

You turned to face him. "He's lying, right? Taehyung's not dead. Jimin's just messing with me, right?"

"I still don't know all the details, as you can see, he's left before telling us everything. We'll talk about this when he gets back, right now we have more urgent deeds."

"I don't believe you. Stop lying to me, Yoongi!" You snapped back at him.

"What makes you think that I'm lying?"

"It's not something you haven't done before. All this time you knew who I was, you knew about me and Jungkook, you kept it all away from me. You used me."

"I did what I had to do for everyone's sake."

"Everyone??"

"Yes, Y/N. I kept you under my protection, I've given you a safe place to crash, food and clothes, everything you needed."

"A safe place...how is any of this safe? I've been close to dying so many times I lost count."

"And you would've been dead, had the boys not found you. You're reaching too far, Y/N. Don't turn your grief into foolish accusations." He had noticed that all along you've been fighting back tears, and your whole body has been trembling with bottled up resentment. But it wasn't directed at him, not even at Jimin, but at the one person that has started it all, Kim Namjoon. "It's not me you should be screaming at, don't you think?" Yoongi started walking towards the northern part of the house. He was not going to add fuel to an argument that was not even directed at the right person.

"Where are you going?" you asked, with a dash of "I'm still pissed off" in the tone of your voice.

"Follow me."

It never ceased to amaze you how good Yoongi was at controlling his emotions. He was truly cut for the role of a leader. You were throwing a tantrum like a child because of all this pain that you could not keep under control. But, while words kept leaving your lips, you kept regretting ever allowing such things to reach Yoongi's ears. You were aware you were throwing blame at the wrong person. If anything, the two most guilty for what had happened were you and Namjoon. You for insisting on going to "Paradise", and him for pulling the trigger. Yoongi was not even punishing you for it. He did care for the members of his gang, and he had never judged a person before doing proper research, sketching the clear reasoning behind their actions, the "why", "where", and "who" of everything. Was the person standing in front of him guilty? Did he do it without thinking or did he choose the wrong path? If the latter is the correct answer, then he is found guilty and punished accordingly. But in your case things were complicated. He knew the outcome was not something you could have had control over, nor was it something you would have desired, no matter how upset you were. So he was inclining more towards screaming at Jimin for being so stubbornly against you, and even more for opening his mouth when Yoongi didn't ask him to. He was also aware that you had to get rid of that rage eating you inside out as soon as possible, so that you wouldn't snap for real. And he had the perfect means to do so.