Taking the Throne

The way he looks at her

Running, his chest felt  tight as he pushed himself harder, refusing to be caught. The green grass felt wet under his toes, gripping the cushion-like density, thick like one of the rugs at the palace. The air was filled with a salty spray drifting in from the crashing waves below and the smell was of fish, and water, and freshly turned soil. 

Bright yellow and gold rays were breaking through the rolling clouds, and the squeals of laughter echoed, closing in behind him. Competitive to the bone, the chase stopped being fun when he passed the old burnt tree, and now his smile was replaced with a solid expression of determination.

"You are no fun!" They yelled out behind him, their voices fading as he picked up more speed and increased the distance. The rhythm of the pounding in his ears overpowered them, and he began to forget what he was running from. Legs burning, racing against the wind, he could  feel the power of the tide kicking up more spray, tasting it on his tongue and stinging his eyes. As the details of the world faded, he was left with his will and freedom at his fingertips.

"ANAKIN! ENOUGH!" The deep bellowing voice cut through his head as he came to an abrupt stop, falling forward into a rocky patch of grass. The pain ripped through his knees and he couldn't stop the reflex of tears filling his eyes, knowing that if he looked down they were covered in blood. Keeping his head bowed, he tried to hide his embarrassment as he felt the footsteps approaching. "Son, what are you doing?"

From the tone of the voice, he knew his father was mad, but more concerned. Strong hands slid under his arms pulling him to his feet, and the shadow of the figure dwarfed his abnormally tall 10 year old body.

"What do you think you are doing? You are going to get yourself killed." The shadow hovered, as the figure bent down on one knee to assess the damage. His father's big hands brushed away the dirt and grit that covered his bloody legs. "The twins only want to play with you, why do you always run from them?"

Stubbornly chewing his lips and sniffling back tears, he refused to raise his eyes, ashamed.

"Anakin, look at me." He could feel the long fingers under his chin, pulling his head upward.

"Are you hurt?" His father's tone changed from slightly angry and concerned, to kind, so warm and kind.

"Yes." The boy could no longer hold back the tears, his bright blue eyes glistening.

"Come with me, it is ok to cry. Believe me, I have cried many times in my life. Do not be ashamed."

The boys eyes focused onto the dark and mysterious gaze of the man he admired, and in many ways idolized, wondering how he always knew what he had been thinking.

"Dad, they make me crazy. They bother me all the time. I just want to be alone."

"Come...let's get you to your mother so she can clean you up before she finds you here... I will chase the twins....or I will make Chewie scare them. You would like that, wouldn't you?" He laughed.

Smiling, the boy's face softened, and as the frustration faded, the sweet gentle little boy resurfaced.

"BEN! BEN! What in the name of all things holy happened?! ANAKIN, you are bleeding! Come here!" Rey was calling out from the top of the hill.

" See, I warned you. " He laughed. "Anakin, you are too serious for your age. Be a boy... and don't be so quick to want to be alone. I know all about loneliness and someday soon I will tell you all about it. Do not rush to grow up. Now go to your mother." He placed a loving kiss into the light blonde head of hair.

Anakin looked closely at his father's long face. His features were strong, unlike his own. His eyes were dark and sometimes scary, where his were light like the sky. Not knowing how old his father was, he noticed the fine lines around his eyes when he laughed and smiled, especially when he watched his mother and father when they thought he wasn't looking. It was in those moments that Anakin felt the safest and happiest, when they were together, and he really didn't know why?

There was something about how his father looked at his mother, the way he placed his hand at the small of her back when he kissed her forehead, or the way he pinched her when she wasn't expecting it. It was like nothing else in the world existed when they were together, like they spoke without words, like neither of them had a beginning or end. There were many times that the three of them would catch their parents staring at each other, until one of the twins inevitably interrupted the strange magic that was invisibly connecting them.

Leelee, a little brown haired hazel eyed girl was the worst, and it was no secret that his father had a special love for her. She was rotten to the core, which wasn't lost on his mother. Luke, or Lulu as he preferred to call him, which made the child scream and cry that Anakin was making fun of him, was blonde and blue eyed like him. In reality, he adored them, but didn't understand them. He felt light years away and his father was the only person that understood.

"Daddy, when I grow up, I want to be just like you." He sniffled and watched the wave of emotion wash over his father's face.

"Anakin, I want you to be just you. Someday I will tell you all about me and you might not like what you hear, but I will tell you how it all happened. Now, what is important to know is that I was nothing without your mother. She saved me and I owe everything, even my life, to her. Be you. Do not think about trying to be like anyone else. You are enough."

Anakin gulped away his tears and headed up the hill toward his mother who was impatiently waiting. She had a way of always making everything better and no matter how bad he failed or the mistake he made, he knew she was there to help him, to love him. There were moments that she was so bright to him, like she glowed.

"Twins, get away from the ledge!" He could hear his father's booming voice rumble over the hill and the squeals of delight as he chased them away from it.

That night, after his parents had kissed him and tucked him into his warm bed, he stayed awake listening to the crackling of the fire. The twins were in the hut next to his. Chewbacca was growling impatiently, having had enough of their antics. He chose to sleep with them because inevitably one o would have to be chased down and put back to bed. But when they finally slept, the strongest storm filled with thunder and lightning could ravage the island and they wouldn't budge. They would sleep on the wookie, a tangle of legs, arms, and drooly hot faces, and he was sure that Chewbacca would have it no other way.

Sneaking out of his hut, the full moon lit up the uneven terrain, but gave him the light he needed to slip away. There were many nights like that, sneaking off to watch the dark chaotic waves crash against the shoreline, or dangerously climbing to the mountain temple. It was in the dark cavernous depths that he found the mosaic of the half black and white jedi under a pool of water. The place called to him, in his stomach, in his heart, and some nights he was awakened by soft whispers that he swore were just a dream, calling him to the reflecting pool and the ledge that overlooked the endless ocean.

Approaching their hut, somehow he could hear them talking through the thick bricks and mortar.

" He is just like you, Ben. So serious and aware....so powerful...he hasn't begun to see it yet. What are we going to do?"

"Rey, we will do what our parents didn't do for us. We will be there for him. We will love him and teach him. He is right where he belongs We will always be there."

"Oh Ben-"

"You do not need to say it, I already know."

"I love you ."