Taking the Throne

Wanting to forget

Gently slipping back into bed, he tried to go unnoticed as she slept. Stirring slightly, Rey's arm shifted and raised above her head as she rolled toward his body heat.

Laying on his side, he looked at his wife. Stroking her hair off of her face, his eyes were wide and open, not just drinking in the sight of her but like two black holes drawing her into his mind. It happened quickly, the feeling of falling down a well, of dragging her with him, and every time it happened he felt a strange euphoria from shrouding her in his darkness. It was wicked, and sensual, and stoked his hunger in a primal way that he was never totally conscious of.

It was instinctual, giving into the magnetic pull that was drawing both of them with such force that there were times that they did not realize that they had a choice. Blinded by the other, free will was never part of the equation as their destinies had always been woven together from what felt like the beginning of time. Ben did not know how to live without her, in fact, his entire life before her felt like a horrible nightmare. Through their love he had been reborn, completed, no longer fractured and spinning out of control.

"Rey.....Rey......," He whispered.

"Mmmm....you came back..." She murmured, nuzzling her face against his hand that dwarfed her cheek.

"Yes." He said, as he took her hand guiding it between his legs while leaning it to find her mouth. Neither soft nor inviting, his kiss was deep and abrupt yet sensual, dipping into her without warm up or warning. Feeling her fingers wrap around his already hard cock made him suck in against her lips, drawing her blood to the surface. Pulling back, he watched her limp head lift off the pillow, like her lips were following his heat and hunger, aching and reaching for more.

Hunger was the best way to describe how he felt, as his mind was spinning. Taking her body, feeling her consume his manhood was the only way he could imagine feeling blank and stripped bare of the compressed layers of memories and emotions, all things he did not want to feel or think about at that moment.

"Rey....I need you...." He whispered against her mouth, grinding against her lips again, as his fingers massaged into her scalp. "I need you to help me..."

"Anything...." She whispered back.

"Look at me." He said seriously as he pulled away. Looking back at him, fully awake and aware, she was wide eyed and listening. "I need you to help me....to forget...for right now...I need relief...it's all too much."

Rey's eyes softened as she placed her hands on either side of his long sad face. Looking into him, she did not ask questions or push, feeling the longing and the void, the lingering pangs of loss from Leia, from Han, and from Luke. She could sense his mind searching and begging to make sense of it, to reconcile all of it for good, like stepping on a hidden sliver of glass from a shattered pane after believing it had been swept away, there were sudden sharp and painful moments that would never cease to appear.

Making love to Rey was a blissful respite from the internal battle he waged daily, and her companionship was a balm to the rawness he tried so hard to keep internally controlled. But there were times when he asked for her permission to be unhinged, to let go in every sense, to hand himself over to her without fear of judgement .Surrounding him with peace, she would draw him into her, as his soul sighed from relief.

Grazing her fingertips down the peaks and valleys of his stomach muscles, she kissed him softly. Closing his eyes, the world melted away and his sole focus became her mouth, her movements, her smell, and the growing frisson between their bodies. Flowing against her will like water, he could feel the knots and weight fall away, and soon he was only reacting.