Chapter 13: Northern Downpour Pt. 2

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I look over at Pete, his expression almost as if he regrets what he had asked.

"You don't have to answer." He rushes out.

"No, no it's fine." I breathe out. I look away from Pete for a moment, the memories flooding my brain as if they had just happened yesterday. They feel so fresh and so new, each little detail carved into my brain.

"My mom," I pause and bite my lip. I feel the coming of tears sting the back of my eyeballs.

"My mom was murdered by my father." My chest is tight, the air unable to leave my lungs. I feel all the tears that were once threatening to spill to overflow.

Pete's eyes grow wide, he bites his bottom lip and looks away. His body frozen at what to make of this new information.

Before I know, Pete wraps me in a hug. I lay my head in the crook of his neck and snake my arms around his body. I lay my legs over top of his own. I sob into his shoulder unable to stop. The memories just keep flooding my brain and the thought of my dead mother on the ground lifeless kills me.

I've held back all of these emotions for all of those 4 years. I have never once sobbed like this because I knew what would happen. The pain and memories will come back and I won't be able to make them stop. No one will be able to make me feel better. My mother won't come back and nothing will ever bring her back.

They were right though.

All of those stupid therapists that told me to open up and let go of my emotions. Because if I didn't, all of that pain will just bundle up inside me and soon will just explode. The explosion bigger as time goes on.

I should've listen. I should've just cried when I had the chance in those therapists' offices. Because now I'm crying into one of my idol's shoulder, pitying me for something that he should've never been apart of.

"I'm s-sorry." I say through my sobs.

"Hey, it's okay." He says gently, rubbing my back. "It's okay to cry, just let it out."

I curl up in his lap, my head resting against his chest. My tears staining his sweatshirt. He cradles me into his arms and keeps rubbing my back.
...

I slowly start to stop crying, my sobs growing to just sniffles and whimpers.

I hold on tighter to Pete's sweatshirt. He feels safe, like someone I can trust. I mean, he's already heard my singing and he's seen me breakdown so that's two things people never hear or see from me. But I can trust him, he seems to understand what I'm going through or how I feel.

But can I trust him?

No, don't trust him. He'll just leave like everyone else.

I want to trust him though.

No, never again. Not after what happened to mom, he'll just get hurt or worse.

I have to try, I need to get better. I need to take those stupid therapists' advice and trust someone.

NO! YOU STUPID IDIOT. DON'T TRUST ANYONE. THEY'LL JUST LET YOU DOWN AND LEAVE. OR BETTER YET, DIE!

"Stop it." I whimper into his sweatshirt.

"What?" He pulls away from me a bit and looks down. His whiskey eyes filled with confusion and concern.

"I can trust you right?" I ask, looking up at him.

He looks almost hurt at the question. "Of coarse you can," He answers. "Why would you ask that?"

"The voices in my head are telling me not to." I answer truthfully.

"Oh Brooklyn..." Pete hugs me tightly.

"Don't listen to those voices. You are so strong and tough and they don't tell you what to do. And if you let them control you, you are not going to be happy. So please, please stay strong. I love you, Brendon loves you, everybody loves you and don't let those voices tell you otherwise. Do you understand?"

I nod against his chest, another tear sliding down my face.
...

For awhile it's just me curled up in Pete's lap, none of us making a noise.

"Thank you." I finally say, breaking the long silence.

"For what?" He questions, looking down at me with confusion.

"For being here with me, for not leaving." I say snuggling further into his chest; if that's even possible.

"You are so welcome." He says hugging me tighter. "If you ever need someone to talk to, I am just on the other bus you know that right?"

"Yes I do." I say closing my eyes, the crying making me very tired.

"Good because I don't ever want you feeling like you are alone."

I slightly nod into his chest, to tired to speak.

I start to doze off, the silence making it hard to stay awake. Eventually, I do fall asleep.

Pete's POV (oOo exciting)

I feel Brooklyn's breathes steady and she softly starts to snore.

I carefully take the sleeping girl off of me and slowly lay her on the couch. I take her phone and earbuds and set them on the counter, plugging in the phone.

I go back over to Brooklyn and kiss her on top of the head. Quietly, I sneak out of their tour bus and head to my own.

I get to my tour bus (which was a few parking spaces behind Panic!'s) and meet the other guys inside.

"Why were you gone for so long?" Andy asks, him fiddling around with his drum sticks.

"Brooklyn needed, um, some help so I was helping her out." I say, sitting on the couch next to Patrick.

The other guys shrug it off and go back to doing their own thing as I think back to what happened with Brooklyn.

My heart breaks at the thought of what happened to her. The fact that she had to go through that just makes me upset. No one should have to deal with that.

"Ya alright there Pete?" Patrick's voice bringing me back to reality.

"Yea, I'm alright just... thinking about stuff." I shrug, not knowing what to say.

"Mmm, okay I guess." He gives me a questionable look but eventually gives up and goes back to messing with his guitar.

Nothing is okay, Brooklyn's not okay. I'm not okay.

Well I guess, If home is where the heart is then we're all just fucked.

~

I low key hate the ending of this chapter but it's alright, it's good enough.

but yea thanks y'all for reading I love all of you guys! Thank you all for your comments and votes they mean a lot to me <3

Thanks for reading my dudes
~brick

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