Her Unreasonable Love (Completed)

chapter 8 - First kiss

My second day as a married woman, went surprisingly well. I tried not to talk to Ayaan, I was still shaken with what had happened the previous night. He was busy making arrangements and getting the necessary documents to apply for my Visa so I didn’t get to see him all day, which was good.

His mother and extended family were very welcoming and not for once did they make me feel like an outsider. I was being stuffed with food at the dining table and ironically I wasn't enjoying it. I couldn’t risk gaining weight back. I had worked really hard to loose every pound and inch, even though I hadn’t achieved my target weight.

At the end if the day when I was heading back to my room, it felt like I would burst any moment, I ate like a cow or rather fed like one. I was exhausted just sitting and eating all day, also my body wasn't fully recovered after the wedding.

When I entered the room, I expected it to be empty but to my surprise, Ayaan was already there in his night clothes. He looked at me and asked, “ Did you pray Isha (night prayer)?”

I was not expecting that question. Hesitantly I answered, “not yet.”

“Did you have your dinner?”

“Yeah.”

“So you ate without praying?” his tone changed and I got goosebumps. I wasn’t sure what to expect but I knew that this was bad.

He came close to me. His lips were close to my ear and my heart rate was increasing. “Next time you eat before praying, you sleep on the floor.”

It was rediculous but at that moment I couldn’t be strong enough to stand up for myself.“I… I was going to pray now…”

“I didn’t ask for an explanation.” He looked at me with cold eyes. He was starting to scare me and I didn’t want to be scared of my husband. It didn’t seem right. Maybe it’s the work load getting to him, no one treats someone you hardly know this way.

I quickly made wuduh and prayed. I changed into 'decent' night wear and went straight to bed without looking at him. He was already asleep, which came to me as a relief. I checked my phone and saw a lot of messages from Marwa and Sarah, even though talking to them would make me feel better, I chose not to. I wasn’t in the right mind and they would see through it that something is wrong. I kept my phone aside and turned to the other side with my back facing Ayaan.

I couldn’t help but recall how he acted last night and a while back, and it hurt me twice as much. No matter how hard I tried reasoning with myself, there was no good enough explaination for such behavior. I guess the only thing I could do was not repeat these things as it trigger his anger. It’s just the beginning and things would get better with time.

“Are you awake?,” Ayaan asked and I snapped out of my thoughts, I wanted to pretend to be asleep but maybe he saw that I was up and I wasn’t a good liar. I turned to his side when out of nowhere he came on to me and before I knew it, his lips collided with mine. I froze, not knowing what to do. I had so many scenarios pictured in my head of us but non of them included my first kiss. That was it, it was happening. I was going to loose my virginity and I wasn’t even prepared. So many questions were on my head. 'What do I do? Should I kiss back? How do I do that?.'

I was battling with my thoughts about what to do next when he let go of my lips and shifted back. His eyes tightly shut. 'I did nothing this time. Is it because of that? Was it that awful?.' He murmured something but it wasn’t audible.

I had to say something, I had to find out what was going on his head. Was he taking to himself, trying to calm down? There was just one way to find out, “You said something?”