Her Unreasonable Love (Completed)

Chapter 24 - The diary

'Sarah Ali added 25 pictures to the album 'honeymoon''

Being unhappy wasn’t as worse as seeing others happy. Sarah was my best friend, but knowing that my marriage was miserable made it difficult for me to be genuinely happy for her. I hated the feeling that was building inside me. I didn’t want that grow and that’s why I deleted all my social media accounts.

“Hello”

“Hello!. Where have you been?”, Marwa sounded very upset.

“Sorry, I didn’t know where I had put my phone and it took forever to look for it as it was on vibration mode.”

“Are you alright?”

“Why won’t I be? I have never been happier”, I was glad that it wasn’t a video call or she would had seen it in my face.

“I thought we had established that you suck at lying.”

“Hahah very funny. So tell me, why did you call?”

“What do you mean? Can’t I call my sister when I want?”

“Mom doesn’t call. Why do you?”, I was irritated. I just wanted to disconnect the call and crash on my bed.

“Dad and her talk about you every single day. Almost everything reminds them about you and we miss you. You hardly call these days and mom and dad are happy that you're happy and are ok with you not calling often. But I know that something is wrong and I don’t know why you are hiding it from me.”

My heart ached listening to her worry about me. I was important and my family missed me but it didn’t matter as long as I didn’t get that from Ayaan. My priorities had changed drastically. The pain and negativity inside me overtook their love.

“I’m fine. It’s because of the time difference and a lot of work here that I don’t get to talk. Unlike you I don’t sleep and eat all day with people at my service”, I lied.

“Jiju is with you. I’m sure he’s spoiling you.”

“He sure is”, I sighed.

“I want to believe you. Please stay in touch. Mom and dad miss you a lot”, she sounded a little low.

“Copy that. Now cheer up and tell me about everything going on with you”, I said trying to lighten the mood.

We ended up talking for a very long time and for the first time in days I felt good. I had people who loved me and I had a reason to live. I had to try a little harder, even though it wasn’t easy. What Ayaan was going through was way worse than me and I felt an obligation to help him. And I knew that the only place that I could learn more about him to help him, would be his bedroom.

**********

Though I had been to his room before, my hands and feet were cold while I stood in front of the door. It was like a forbidden fruit which was very tempting to grab but it came with ugly consequences. My last visit had answered a lot of questions and I hoped for the same result again. Before I went in, I grabbed my phone just in case I would need it.

I went in and was surprised to see that everything was in the exact same place as it was previously. The pillows were neatly aligned, the pens in the same order and everything was spotless except for one thing. There was a brown leather diary at his study table. I went ahead and read the first entry.

As a part of my treatment, my therapist advised me to pen down my thoughts. As much as I disliked following orders from another person, I had to fulfill my mother’s promise.
The beast in me thinks otherwise. Of course it does. After all I’m trying to get rid of it. He has challenged me that I won’t be able to survive without him and I shall be obliged to prove him wrong.