Faking It... | ✓

A W K W A R D

It all came to me now. He liked me for so long. Although he was dating someone else. We gotten closer then. I didn't even recognize him now.

But we stopped talking for 6 days. He decided that we needed some space since we've been close for almost 24/7. I guess it's time to find myself.

Spring day is coming soon. I'm gonna bring colours to the sky. I also want to be alone though. Amy asked me to do a tough task which is being the 2 best me.

Invisible, quiet, in my own bubble type of me. And loud, crazy, fun type of me. It's going to be hard mixing them both.

Today I wrote a business test and it was a mission. I slept at 1 a.m. to make sure I don't fail it since I'm done with the SBA project.

For the first time in a month I've actually decided to sit at the field. Although I somehow I didn't feel sick this time.

Today was actually a weird, awkward day. Some reason I saw Brian 7 times in less than 4 hours which was creepy but it might have been a sign of something that was going to happen.

After school waiting for my transport to come fetch me from my accounting class. I chilled with the rugby squad. They are funny then they come to a lightbulb asking, "So what's going on between you and Brian?"

I hate it that question. Everyone kept asking me and I did not feel the mood to answer. "I don't know I mean like we don't talk anymore but we still considered friends". I put it in inverted commas. And they had a quick response, "What came to a conclusion that you guys don't talk anymore because y'all look a lot like a good couple though you guys aren't dating".

I acted blank as if I don't know but I just did not want to repeat the same scenario over and over again. "Why don't you guys ask him?" I said without a thought, already Brian was on the opposite side of the benches. "Ayo Brian, won't you come here for a sec." They called.

He didn't wanna come because I am here so I decided to take my girls and we had our own conversation. We talked about getting in trouble with our parents by using our cell phones to call other people.

Later on, Brian's best friend calls me. I knew it had to do with him. Besides I've been wanting to talk to him.  I could tell that he was forced to talk to me.

Approaching to them with my head facing down not wanting to look at him. I tried but I couldn't help it staring at his eyes. "Hi guys." I say in my soft voice. "Ok so...Brian Ima leave you here, gotta talk to the chick but first what's going on?" I hit myself on the head because I knew what was going on and I knew he was not gonna tell him. "Nahh we still friends." His friend nods in disappointment. "That's cool but doesn't look like you guys are friends though."

He actually had a point we weren't just friends. We were way less than friends. We were strangers, ghosts, invisible, transparent human beings. It's like we meant nothing to each other.

"Elena let me explain...I haven't been talking to anyone but this guy..." Brian points out. "It's just I don't feel like talking much." He clarifies but his friends stopped him saying "Wait do you wanna be here or not?" Getting to a point, he said nothing but I don't know there's no I don't know. "It's either yes or no." He's still quiet.

Then asked me, "Do you wanna be here?" I wanted to tell a lie but I'ma give straight up fact. "I wanna be here but if he don't want then it's chilled I'm not gonna fight." I surrendered.

Why all of a sudden we've been acting like it's the first time we have spoken in our entire lives. Although we spoke a bit and laughed. It was really better than nothing.

If he had to come back. I'll accept him but my love, my trust has to be earned. It's time to play hard-to-get for once. Let's see if he'll give up.