Faking It... | ✓

C R Y I N G G A M E

This has officially become a daily routine. Wake up, breakfast, tv, ice-cream, pizza, sleep. It's really becoming boring but at least no one is bothering me other than Chris.

I've been trying to ignore everyone and everything. People kept telling me that Brian's got a girlfriend. Great, now did I have to know. No. I'm clearly trying to forget about him.

(Today)

Elena💜♎:
hey... I need to talk to you when you not busy

Brian💫❄💛:
Wassup

Elena💜♎:
are we still dating or nah?

Brian💫❄💛:
I believe not

Elena💜♎:
oh okay

I'm tired of people's bullshit right now. I put on my status:

"Brian and I are done. So please stop texting and calling me on what he's doing. We tried and it didn't work out."

Then I got a reply.

Brian💫❄💛:
Really?

Elena💜♎:
what?

Brian💫❄💛:
I didnt try to work things out

Elena💜♎:
yeah..

Brian💫❄💛:
Ok its fine

Elena💜♎:
well u decided to post a vid of a chick with a caption I didn't like n u the one that said "you believe not"... so this whole time I thought we still were, just that you were busy n I gave you space. 🤷🏽‍♀

Brian💫❄💛:
Which vid Elena?

Brian💫❄💛:
Some of the post I post are just how I'm feeling, dat song I posted has a deep meaning download it and listen to it

Brian💫❄💛:
I just like the glow on her lips dats it

Elena💜♎:
oh my word.
sooo how's all of this suppose to make me feel I mean I gave this relationship everything B. and now it has come to this really... all these posts got to me yes that's what happens when a girl deeply cares for you

Elena💜♎:
but it's fine.. I'm sorry I was my fault

Brian💫❄💛:
Elena don't do this cause you know I loved you infact still love you and care bout you ,thing is honestly, I dont deserve you, I have done a lot of things I'm not proud of and I dont want it to get to the point where you commit suicide cause of me or anything terrible cause of me, I have already lost someone that even now I blame myself for her death and i think bout it everyday bout her

Elena💜♎:
I tell you many times... I don't care about your past, I don't care that you did bad things you've done. I still love you for being you. but as much as I'm being transparent to you, I wanna help you to be better. and I honestly cried for weeks after what you said which sounded like you were giving up but I kept my head up and hoped it wasn't over.

Elena💜♎:

whatever you blaming yourself for... I'm sorry. and I hope you heal. and one day you forgive yourself because God has forgiven you.

Brian💫❄💛:
But reason for me not telling you everything is because I didn't want you to stress or worry, like dat day I had an emotional breakdown all my boys were stressed worried and scared,imagine how you would have felt if the guys were worried, Elena I broke three windows dat night,believe me I'm glad I didn't tell you dat day

Elena💜♎:
not telling me anything hurts more than telling me what's wrong. I just don't wanna hear things that happened from other people but it's fine if you don't wanna tell me.
I don't even know if I'm in your life.
It's cool to keep secrets but you could at least me like okay so this happened but can't say in detail.
I understand that you know I'm going to be worried about you and all but that doesn't change anything.
It doesn't change how I think and feel about you. the real you.
Things happen. We learn from our mistakes.
You’ve got to learnt to accept em.
Everything that has happened to you is what made you to be better.
Nothing and no one can change that.

Elena💜♎:
I still love you no matter what happens, how hard life can be, how bad you get, how shitty the situation can be. That's real love.
I pray for you to be better. I hope you'll be okay. Just don't beat yourself up.

I guess I'll never understand what's in his mind. In the end, we're the same but he doesn't see that. I can't be with someone that's fixed because I know they'll become broken too.