The Forgotten Wife

Chapter 17 - The Change Of Heart

Fa Mu Lan Point Of View

"My Emperor, what are you thinking?" I ask the Emperor on my back.

We are now on the bed ready to sleep. The Emperor is hugging me from the back while caressing my hair. The talk in the study didn't happen because my cousin and auntie retired late so the Emperor decided to go to sleep early instead because I am planning to go to the hospital tomorrow morning.

"Why did you cry this afternoon?" he answered me with a question also.

I turn around to face him and talk to him looking straight into his eyes. Something is bothering me and I need to clear it from my mind. "My Emperor, can I ask you something personal? I know you are my Emperor but can you please answer me as a normal person?"

He looks at me straight on the eyes too, he didn't talk for a while only gazing. I wanted to avert my eyes to somewhere but I need to get the answers I am looking for so I stop myself.

"Go on but I will ask you also in return and you need to answer it honestly," he said after a while.

I nod as an answer he smiles and kisses me on my head. "What happened to you, Emperor Qing? For years you didn't even look at me. Why now?

"You need to ask me? You don't know how alluring you are, you are so addicting that my body always yearns. At first, I really don't like to marry you because you are a man" he said while hugging me tightly. "I have more to say but leave it for next time. You just have to remember  that now you are everything to me, put that on your stubborn mind."

His answer gives shiver all over my body. Is he telling the truth? It cannot be true. "Emperor Qing, how will I believe your word? You keep on hurting me. Do you know how I feel every time you beat me?" my tears fall down my eyes without realizing I am crying. "You know what I wanted to tell you?" I ask him.

The Emperor dry my tears using his lips I don't know how to stop it but tonight I need to release the feeling I have inside my heart. I need to convey the message to the Emperor.

"Mu Lan I know I did a lot of things in the past. I cannot change it anymore but I promised using the title of me being Emperor it will never happen again," he said with promising eyes. "You are important to me now, I will give everything just to make you stay with me."

"What if I ask you to release me from this marriage?" I look at him directly in his eyes.

You will see the doubt in his eyes, scared and worries. "That one I cannot give you I will die first before I will give you up," he said "I love you to let you go"

"You love me? Love? Do you really know the meaning of that word?" I ask still the tears keeps on falling from my eyes.

"I know the meaning of love before I really don't know how to love someone. But now Mu Lan, you make me realize how to love" he answers with sincere eyes.

"There is one poet from the east that said, Some birds are not meant to be caged, that's all. Their feathers are too bright, their songs too sweet and wild. So you let them go, or when you open the cage to feed them they somehow fly out past you. And the part of you that knows it was wrong to imprison them in the first place rejoices, but still, the place where you live is that much drabber and empty for their departure." I recite to him the poem I read from a book.

"They said If you truly love someone, you don't give up easily, I will teach you how to love me back Mu Lan" He kissed my lips after saying it.

"I want to believe you but how am I going to believe you if I am only a part of your toys," I told him closing my eyes. " I am just your favorite dish for now after eating it for many times you are gonna tired and will throw me like a leftover"