More Than friends. (An Ansel Elgort Fanfic)

Chapter 15

Kylie's POV

It's been two days since I saw Ansel at the boardwalk. Kate let me stay those two nights, but I know she has her plate full. And Addison is staying with her all summer, and that makes even less room for me. I told her I'd talk to Zach. Now is a good time.

I'm sitting on the bleachers with him at his brothers football game. I'm about to say something when he sticks a cigarette in his mouth.

I raise my eyes at him. "Thought you changed."

He shrugs. "Some things are hard to let go. And I don't want to quit, so I see no point. 'You smoke to enjoy it, I smoke to die' right?" He quotes another John Green book.

He grins at me, the still unlit cigarette hanging out the side of his mouth. He lights it and removes it.

"You're just so charming." I laugh.

"What can I say?" He smirks. He takes a drag and I watch as he blows smoke.

"So you've been staying at Kate's?" He asks.

"Yeah. About that..." I trail off

He gives me a questioning look, so I continue. "She's about to move and Addison lives with her now and you know she's about to have a baby." I pause, running my fingers through my hair. "And I can't stay there much longer."

"So they'll let Addison stay there but not you?" He asks.

"That's different." I say, picking at his shoe laces. "Her mom just died a few months ago."

"Oh. I didn't know that."

"Yeah. I was wondering if maybe I could stay with you for a while?" I ask.

He looks at me, surprise in his eyes. He runs a hand over his hair, takes a last drag from the cigarette, then flicks it into the grass before answering.

"You know you're always welcome, of course. But I don't have plans of staying there much longer." He says.

"That's all I need. Just some time to get a job and some money saved up." I explain.

"Why don't you just make up with your mom?" He asks.

"If you don't want me to stay just say it, Zach."

He grabs my hand in his. "it's not that."

I feel like I should pull my hand back, but his is so warm, Familiar.

"Then what is it?" I ask

"It's just going to be complicated. I mean you're in this mess with Ansel and I'm just starting a relationship and-"

I cut him off. "You're in a relationship?" I ask. I'm shocked to hear the anger in my voice. I pull my hand back before I know I decided to.

"Yeah? I told you I was talking to the girl from Trig, remember?" He says.

"Why did you kiss me then?" I demand.

"I didn't. You kissed me and I pulled back." He points out.

I know he's right. I'm just...jealous? I guess? Which is dumb. I need to be working out my problems with Ansel, not starting new ones with Zach.

"Then why did you hold my hand?" I ask.

He shrugs. "I don't. Just a habit, I guess. Look, Kyles. I'm always going to love you. That's just the way it's gonna be. But we're just not good for each other. But I want to be your friend. It will be awkward and hard sometimes, but I just can't stay away from you." He says.