at the edge of the cliff || ✔

chapter ten: familiar accents in back alleyways

at the edge of the cliff

chapter ten: familiar accents in back alleys

A job. That is what i need. I don't know why but I want to get one. I guess babysitting Ryder's brothers every once and a while wasn't cutting it. Maybe if I get a job and save up, I'll be able to move out the day I turn eighteen.

But first a job.

Which is exactly what I am doing walking around town. There was the fast food places but I feel like this places are really dirty and filled with workers who were high school dropouts. My eyes scan through the window of starbucks and immediately kept walking. All I saw in there was privileged kids blowing their parents money on eleven dollar coffees just so they can take a picture with it so they feel like they fit in with society.

Ugh.

I kept walking and found myself closer to downtown. It wasn't the worst part of town but definitely not the best. Ryder's boxing gym is down this street so I've hung out around here before. A glowing red sign caught my eye and I kept walking towards it.  It was a place called Inside Outsiders and it sounded cool enough. I pulled open the door to see stairs that go down so I kept walking down I until I came to a huge room. With just one look it looks like a normal hipster cafe but then as I looked around I saw people drawing on the walls into the graphite you would see on the side of a train or something. There was also a little stage with instruments. Towards the back was a bar with a cash register and different coffee machines lined down it. Behind that was a kitchen I'm guessing since a guy came out with a plate of fries. Overall it was a really chill place.

There was not too many people but it wasn't empty.

I walked to the bar where a girl with long blonde hair stood putting money into the register. She looked up and smiled.

"Hey, can I help you?" She asks politely. I nod.

"Uh yeah. Is there like a manager or-?"

"Yeah, one second." She says scurrying off into the back. She comes back with a young women, maybe in her late twenties with short, obviously dyed red hair. She comes over to me and smiles.  

"What can I do for ya?" She asks in a thick New York accent.

"Are hiring by any chance?" I ask glancing at blondie who was watching us. She looks down when she sees me.

"Um-" she pauses to look around. "We're good on kitchen." By the way she was mumbling I assumed she was talking more to herself. "We could use some hands waiting tables." She says looking back to me.

"That's good. I can do that." I say smiling. She nods and tells me to wait there. I stand there just taking the place in. That was a lot easier than I thought.

"Alright. So here's some information if you had any question. You can start Monday of next week and you'll be help Gabe over there," she points to a scrawny ginger who was struggling to carry plates to table. "wait tables. Im Jill by the way." She says.  I nod and thank her and she leaves. I smile to myself as I walk out. I just got a job. I almost squeal in delight.

"Oh sorry." I say to whoever I just bumped in to. I take a step back and almost punch who I see. "I take my apology back." I say crossing my arms annoyed.

"You just can't seem to stay away can you princess?" Grayson says laughing. He is bipolar. One second I see him all depressed and the next he is angry then out of where he is all flirty. I roll my eyes and punch him in the arm.  

"Don't call me that." I say scrunching my nose. "It sounds fuckboy-y" I say.

"I am a fuck boy." He says. I laugh.

"Alright. Whatever you say, buddy." I pat his arm and go around him to leave. I hear footsteps behind me and I roll my eyes.

"Go away." I groan.

"Oh come on. You were annoying me before with all of your talking and questions. Now it's my turn." He says.

"Well that was before." I say. Before it was me who found him all distressed at the cliff so I had that on him. Now it's the other way around and I don't like it. At all.

"Before what?" He question. I shake my head to drop it. He just walks alongside me and I start to get used to him being there.

"Well look who's back on this side of town." A voice says coming out of an ally. His accent is what made me stop in my tracks and turn around. "Nice to see you Izzy." He says.

"Fuck off." I say going to walk away. An arm clamps around my wrist and I was spun around.  

"That's not a nice word now is it?" He questions taking a step closer. I look over at Grayson who was going to step in but I shook my head. He stopped but was close enough he could do something. "Spoke to your mother any? Haven't heard from her in a while." He says. When he said something about mother, that's when I almost lost my cool but I stopped. He was smart so I had to stay smarter. "What about that probation officer? Or your father? Does he still beat your-"

I lost it.

"Shut the fuck up!" I yell launching myself at him. He raises his hand but I was pulled back by strong arms. "Let me go!" I yell kicking and squirming around. I watch as he smirks and walks away. "Let go of me Grayson!" I yell again struggling to get out of his grasp.

"Come on Shay. Chill out, he's gone. Its okay." He tries to soothe me. I shake my head and finally push him away.

"It's not fucking okay!" I know what's coming and there is no stopping it now. "It's not okay. Just stop interfering with everything. Everywhere I go, there you are around the corner! It's not okay, I'm not okay!" I scream. I start coughing and wipe my face of the tears that fell. I reached my break and now I'm just pissed it was in front of him.

Just in front of anyone.

After about two seconds I realize what I said. I open my mouth to speak but I stop. He holds up his hands and starts back in away. "Alright." He nods. "Im gone." He turn around and walks away.  I just stand there watching, crying as he got smaller and smaller until he was just gone.

And the all too familiar feeling of loneliness washed over me.

This time it was different. This time I couldn't bring myself to go home. The thought of cutting not even crossing my mind. This time I couldn't bring myself to go to Ryder's like he told me to if i needed a place to go. I only knew one place. So that's where I went. And that's where I sat for I don't know how long. That's where i sat through the cold and the loneliness and the dark. That's where I sat tortured by my own thoughts because I thought maybe I deserve it.

I did deserve it.

So now there's only on thing I knew to do about it.