warning!
anxiety
little space
substance abuse (not involving josh,
just him witnessing it)
where josh panics when all the attention is on him for once and
slips into little space for the first time.
josh was at a party brendon threw
for his birthday. he told brendon he didn't really like parties, so brendon promised to make it lowkey. brendon said he invited a couple of his and josh's friends in LA.
but, it wasn't as lowkey as brendon
thought it would be. the people that were invited brought other people, making the small get together turn into the party josh hated. he started to shake.
he said hello to the people he
wanted there and avoided everyone else. the party then got worse and worse. there were drinks, but people brought their own stuff. they brought drugs that josh never even heard of.
he never minded weed, but when
he saw cocaine and heroin, he started to become nervous. he tried to find brendon so he could kick them out, but brendon was already drunk.
josh tugged at brendon's shirt
with teary eyes and tried to pull him towards the people doing drugs. brendon turned and looked down at the crying josh. he quickly turned his body towards him and leaned down.
« hey hey, what's wrong? » brendon
said and grabbed josh's shaking hand. he looked over towards the spot people were doing drugs and he pointed.
« th-there's people d-doin' drugs an' stuff, » josh cried and brendon started to stride over intimidatingly. josh followed him like a shadow and brendon yelled at them to get out.
all of them left and josh walked away.
he went over to where he saw sarah. he smiled over to her before feeling someone grab his arm.
he turned and saw he was being
dragged towards the alcohol by someone he didn't even know that well. hell, he didn't even really remember his name.
« happy birthday, josh! have a
drink! » he said and handed josh a shot. he looked up at the other man and shook his head quickly.
« i-i don't wanna drink, » josh said
and reached towards the table to put it down but the other grabbed his wrist. he pulled josh's wrist towards his mouth and the other looked into his eyes.
« come on, loosen up, » he grinned.
josh yanked his wrist away and the shot glass shattered below him. everyone turned towards him and he started shaking again.
he stepped back a little bit and then
ran off to the bathroom, hoping nobody was there. he opened the door and slammed it behind him.
he leaned against the door and
started to cry. he collapsed onto the ground and he covered his face. he turned to the side and laid his head against the door. he shook his head and pulled at his black hair.
he started to feel a wave
of childishness start to wash over him and he looked at his shaking hands start to slow down. he covered his face again and ignored his quivering thighs.
he heard knocking on the door.
brendon's voice filled the room, but everything he said echoed in his mind and he could barely understand what he was saying. he looked towards the door knob and stood on shaky legs.
