concept
where josh has an anxiety attack and tyler has to make him regress.
warning!
anxiety attacks
age regression
mentions of self harm
josh was shaking. him and tyler
just got into a pretty big argument over the fact that they were coming back in august, not november. it wasn't a big deal yet josh was so frustrated. josh breathed heavily through his nose as he stared at the ceiling. his skin was crawling, his eyes were watery, he was hot so fucking hot.
« why doesn't he let me make decisions every once in a while! he doesn't even tell me when these meetings are and he never lets me decide what we're doing! » josh stood up angrily and turned on
the fan. he looked around the room and saw the mess he had made earlier. his lip trembled. he quickly blinked away the tears and laid down on his bed.
josh felt like the room was caving in.
he stared up. the room was too bright. too bright. too bright.
josh leaned up and turned off the light. everything he did was urgent and angry. he felt nauseous. something was in his throat. he couldn't breathe. why is it so fucking hot?
josh took off his shirt and joggers,
leaving himself in underwear. he laid down and tried to get confortable but there were so many pins and needles in his skin. he couldn't stop squirming. he looked down at his body, feeling like something was crawling up his legs.
he felt tears well up in his eyes as
he saw the scars all up and down his legs. he threw a blanket over his restless body. he couldn't stop squirming. thoughts kept running through his head. he felt like someone were talking to him. he was sore.
god look at you... the fucking thoughts wouldn't stop. how did you even get tyler as a friend. you don't deserve anyone like him.
« shut up shut up.. » josh whimpered
out loud. he couldn't stop the thoughts he pulled at his hair.
you're insecure, dependent, obsessive. you're always clinging to tyler as if he is you're only lifeline. josh pulled at his hair even harder.
« shut up. » josh spoke louder.
tyler could hear him from the couch downstairs. he stood up, worried about what josh was saying. he opened the door and saw josh tossing and turning, head in his hands.
« josh? » tyler said softly. josh
looked up with accusing eyes. josh threw his head back down.
« stop it! » josh yelled. tyler walked
a bit closer. he laid his hand on josh's leg, which josh kicked in response.
« don't touch me. don't touch me. don't fucking touch me! » josh screamed. tyler pulled away his hand as he saw josh curl up into a ball.
josh was scratching at the bed.
tyler has never seen josh have an anxiety attack. he's always expected it to be the same or similar to his panic attacks, but no. this was completely different.
josh wasn't crying. he wasn't
shaking. he wasn't begging to be held. he looked pitiful. tyler stayed crouched down by josh's bed as he tossed and turned.
« you want me to play some music? » tyler asked softly. josh slowed down and shook his head quickly. tyler stayed still for a while before he stood up and left. josh was still in the middle of his anxiety attack and he couldn't see it ending anytime soon.
tyler walked into josh's room
again and crouched down next to where josh's head was. josh opened his eyes slowly and saw his favorite teddy bear, apollo, in front of him. josh stared with big eyes. he immediately felt himself regressing.
« you want apollo, baby? » tyler asked softly. josh nodded slowly. he reached out and grabbed the bear quickly and pulled the bear close to his chest. josh was still squirming a bit, but he seemed to get a little bit better.
« do you remember where your
coloring books are? » tyler asked and smiled. josh looked down and buried his face into his pillows.
« i don't remember.. » josh mumbled. tyler nodded and pulled out his phone. he handed josh his phone after unlocking it. josh reached for it.
« i downloaded a coloring book
thing on my phone so when we're out or you forget your coloring books, you can still have something to distract yourself, » tyler explained. josh nodded and opened it. he looked at all the different coloring pages and he stopping squirming all together.
« i wanna do dat one, » josh said and pointed at the one with a bear. tyler smiled and clicked on it for josh. josh looked down at all of the colors and started pressing colors in.
tyler leaned against the bed and
looked up at josh as he poked at his screen. josh looked down and patted the bed. tyler stood up.
« sit, » josh said. tyler listened and sat down next to josh. josh leaned against tyler shut his eyes as josh kept playing on his phone.
suddenly, tyler was woken up by josh shaking tyler and squealing. tyler jumped as he opened his eyes, expecting josh to be hurt.
« tyty! tyty! i made a picture! » josh grinned. tyler nodded and looked at it on the bright screen. tyler smiled.
« it looks good, baby, » tyler said. josh grinned and looked down, trying to find another page to color. he looked at tyler and pointed at picture with a bunch of monsters on it.
« ty! can i do dis one? » josh asked
with a smile. tyler nodded and tapped on it. josh grinned as he started pressing colors in, saying roar every once in a while.
« why are you roaring? » tyler asked softly. josh looked up at tyler and rolled his eyes.
« cause dats what monsters do,
duh, » josh said matter-of-factly. tyler nodded with a smile. josh laid his head on tylers chest as he poked the screen. tyler shut his eyes again as josh mumbled little roars to himself.
tyler finally fell asleep again. josh
finished coloring and turned, ready to show tyler what he did, but tyler was asleep. josh pouted and out down tyler's phone. he cuddled up with tyler and shut his eyes.
« luh you, bubba, » josh mumbled into tylers chest. josh wrapped his arms around tylers body and kissed tylers chest.
« i lob 'ou too, joshua, » josh tried
to mimic tylers voice. josh looked up and tried to see if he got a reaction out of him, but he was still dead asleep.
josh pouted again and shut his eyes, forcing himself to sleep.
