Chapter 47. Winona. Day 363.

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I sat in the tent, listening to my mom's raspy breathing. I could hear the sickening groans all around us. I sat quietly, holding a sharpened knife in my shaky hands. A herd had wandered into our camp in the early morning, someone's screams waking everyone else up to smell and sounds of the dead.

I looked through the small mesh window at the tent next to the one shared by my mother and I. I could see Randall sitting quietly in his tent. He watched a rotter pass by, holding his breath until it was gone. His glasses covered eyes didn't seem to notice me.

I slowly turned to look at my mom seeing her shaking with fear. "I don't want to see you to be killed." She whispered.

I remained quiet, thinking about her words. "Nona, there's ways out of this. Peaceful ways."

I shook my head, listening to the rotters groans. I moved my finger over my mouth. She shook her head, sounding more desperate this time, "Please, I don't want to lose another one of my kids to those monsters."

"If you don't shut the hell up, you will." I hissed, begging her to shut up, looking at a confused corpse look around.

Hours were being wasted as we waited for the dozens of dead to wonder out of our mazes of tents and supplies. The groans and sounds of dirt being kicked up by rotting shuffling feet grew distant.

I unzipped the tent quietly, peeking out to see the space they had put between us. Randall did the same, pausing to whisper to me. "Some morning."

I nodded, still thinking about my mom's words. "Where's my brothers?" I asked, looking around the camp. Ferris crawled out of a tent, looking around slowly. He held his gun in his arms, looking through the scope to see the rotters.

I moved quietly through the still spooked camp, grabbing my eldest brother's arm. He jumped, letting air escape his lungs in a loud breath.

He looked down at me, waiting for me to speak. "I think mom asked me to kill myself."

His head shot back around to look at me, no longer caring about the not too far rotters. "She did what?" The word flew from his mouth.

I shrugged, trying to think about what had prompted it. "She- She said she doesn't want see any more of us get killed by the rotters, and that there's a way out of this."

Ferris looked at my hand, still gripping his forearm. He looked up at the trees, trying to figure out what to say and do. He shook his head, having no idea what to do. "Stay with Marty today. I don't want mom near either of you." He pushed his hair back, walking to start the work for the day.

I crawled into the tent he shared with Marty. He laid on top of his sleeping bag, a small blue blanket tightly pulled around him. He laid still save the shaky breaths. He rolled over, avoiding me.

I sighed, sitting down beside him like I did most days now. "Fuck off." He whispered.

I opened my notebook, pulling a pen out of my back pocket, flipping to the half empty page. My tired hands moved the pen across the page, creating words and sentences. 

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