Warped

Chapter 15: Jesse

With a cry of energy my eyes burst open. But before I can do anything, terror grabs ahold of me and drags me back. My growls echoing against this blasted cage until I finally lose control.

Shaking my head, I try to stand up. My limbs twitch and thrash, that stupid monster trying to fight its way back up. Grunting I push it down, panting already but not letting it win. I'm never going to let that thing win. I can't let it.

Sighing, I end up just lay on the ground. A heap of limbs just all sprawled out on the ground because I'm not strong enough to actually be myself and have control of my limbs all the time. Besides, this body isn't even my own anymore. It's now black and destroyed and now a monster's.

Raw anguish and bitter hate both rise and claw inside my head. I'm no longer a mere human, I should be happy I'm so much stronger. No one can stop me, I'll be feared and respected by everyone. Nothing will be the nice normal it was, but I deserve to be at the top.

Moaning, the echoes hitting into me again and again. Nothing for the sound to be absorbed in. No bed or carpet, but not even friends. I don't even have my friends here. Just alone to endure this monster, this monster trying warp my morals.

The thing inside me growls, I don't need friends. I'm the strongest, I'm the most powerful, everything should either bow to me or killed by me. I need no friends. They'll only stand in my way.

Screeching, I try to shove those thoughts out of my head completely. That's wrong! So wrong! I'm not letting this monster changed who I am! It can get angry at me, it can growl and thrash, but it does not get to make any choices. It does not get to guide my moral compass.

My eyes flicker over the room, the dark obsidian so easy to see. This unnatural ability to see as if I've just taken a night vision potion. I wish I didn't have it, I wish we all got home safely after visiting Sky City.

At the very least I wish I knew what I am. I'm not human, I'm not a hero, I'm probably a monster, probably some beast or something, and I'm definitely not really a friend right now. I wish I could be a friend, I wish I could help them, but I have no idea where they are. 

They could be anywhere. They could've gotten away, they could've died. They could've slipped into comas and I won't even be able to talk to them for weeks even if they were right here in front of me. They could be broken and shattered, desperately needing me and here I am. So far away from wherever they are. But even if I was with them, I'm far too much monster to help them.

The monster howls, enraged by my useless mourning. I struggle to force it down, push it away. Ending up only changing that anger into heartbroken wails. Reality digging into me every time I simply try to breathe.

I'm not human! That's the only thing I can say with certainty! Out of everything I've ever wanted to remain a steady rock, something I can always rely on, has now been ripped away from me. The only thing that I can say is a fact is the one thing I never wanted to change.

Then there's this crazy man thinking I'm his stupid little puppet that he can play around with whenever he likes. Which I am not! Am I not to be treated like a thing! That's wrong! That's so wrong and I wish I could rip his heart out for that.

My friends could even have it worse than I do. They could know, they could know and that could be worse. Lukas might know that Petra has died. Olivia might know exactly what terrible monster she is and will always be. Axel might know how exactly how powerful these guys are and just knows that we'd never be able to fight them in a million years.

Screeching again, rage now bouncing off the walls and back at me. These people are not the strongest, I can defeat them. I can and I will. I can kill them, and many more will fall below me.