Carliene Stark

Chapter 43

Carliene

I spend the next week at Joanna's bedside. Telling her story after story, keeping her spirit high. At night I lay awake thinking of what I could tell her next. Some tales I remembered from old Nan or books I had once red, some I just made up by altering historical tales or ledgers or even my now life. And some I invented myself.
She enjoyed hearing about Pine and the creatures of the north, so I made up an adventure for her. Where she wasn't butchered, but rather escaped into the wilderness and made friends with other wolves and large stags.
Lady Dorna sat with us sometimes, though I never saw her daughter or their friend. I concluded that Lady Dorna had probably forbade them to come, out of fear that they might fall ill. She mostly sat in silence, listening to us or bowing her head in prayer. She nerve spoke to me, but usually had long conversation with maester Creylen after each visit he payed the little girl.

We all experienced a few days of euphoria where it looked like Joanna was actually getting better. She was able to sit up in her bed and actually had grown quite an appetite. Maester Creylen was amazed, as surviving the pox was not unheard off, but it was very rare especially in younger children.
She seemed to get better for a day or two, during which time even Jeyne and Mia payed her a visit. One morning though, as I entered her room, she was laying shivering under her blankets, her face red with fever and her eyes barely able to open. I spent most of that day just watching her. Seeing her small chest rise and fall, fearing for the worst at any moment. Lady Dorna sat next to me praying.

That evening I was unable to take my supper, my stomach twisting painfully at the thought of food. The next morning I was throwing up in my chamber pot. Of course they didn't let me see her then. The maester came and had a look at me. I was pale and felt dizzy, but I had no signs of fever or rash. Still Creylen thought it safest to keep me in my room for the next days.

"The risk of an infection spreading is too great my Lady" he stated.

"How is she doing?" I demanded as he gathered his supplies from the small table in my chamber. 

The round man sighed. "It won't be long" he said silently before leaving.

I could feel my eyes burn and before I knew what was happening hot tears rolled from them and dripped down my chin. I let myself fall back into my bed and cried myself to sleep. I hadn't cried for a while and just letting it all out felt good at the moment.

My nausea came and went. Some meals I could take and some I had to skip and some ended up in my chamber pot. Still, I developed no feather, none the less they wouldn't let me see Joanna.

It was the middle of the night when I was woken by a nock and the squeak of the door.

Lady Dora stood in the frame, her eyes swollen with tears. "She's asking for you" she said weakly. 

There was no need for more words. I threw on my coat and followed her to Joanna's chambers. Candles were illuminating the entire room, which was empty but for the maester.
The little girl was almost unrecognisable, her face was deformed by pox and her eyes sunken back into her skull. Her lips were pale and cracked. 

"Remember not to let her touch you" Creylen mumbled to me as I stepped up to the dying girl.

"Lady Carliene" even through her obvious pain she managed a small smile.

I sat down in the chair by her bed, a lump in my throat.

There was a silence, were she just looked at me as if it were hard for eyes to focus. I tried so desperately to find something to say. 

"I knew all along" she whispered. 

"What?" my voice was dry and forced. 

"I knew I would die"
I could feel tears form in my eyes. 

"Everyone told me I would be fine, but I knew I wasn't"

I inhaled sharply, trying to force back the tears. In the corner of the room I could hear Lady Dorna's muffled sobs.

"Are you afraid?" I asked her, realising that there was no more need to tell her kind lies. 

Her eyes met the bed's canopy as she though for a moment. "What will happen to me?" her eyes held the smallest hint of fear as they found mine again.

I did my best to make my smile genuine, maybe there was need for a few more kind lies after all. "You'll meet the gods" I said, trying to make it sound as believable as possible as I personally didn't believe in all that. "In the seven heavens, where you will never feel pain again"

She nodded, sighing with exhaustion. 

"Hey" I leaned a bit closer. 

Her heavy eyelids opened.

"Take care of Pine for me"

A spark of excitement entered her face and it lit up in a weak smile. "I will"

I swallowed, forcing back tears. 

"Can you sing me something?" her voice was weak breath. 

"O-ok" I inhaled to calm myself, trying to think of a suitable song. I could only think of one, so I cleared my throat and started calmly:

Oh I am the last of the giants,

my people have gone from the earth.

The last of the great mountain giants,

who ruled all the world at my birth.

I raised my voice a little as Lady Dorna's cries grew louder. Joanna had closed her eyes. I couldn't tell if she was still listening or had fallen asleep, but I kept singing. Remembering the words to a song I had called my favourite as a girl.

Oh, I am the last of the giants,

so learn well the words of my song.

For when I am gone the singing will fade,

and the silence shall last long and long

The girl was fast asleep once I finished. We sat with her throughout the night. She woke crying a few times, whimpering for her mother or just groaning in pain. By the time the first rays of sunshine crawled over the hills and through the window she was gone. Maester Creylen pulled the white blanked over her head. That is when I couldn't keep the tears back anymore. I stumbled from the room before the guards could stop me and hurried into the gardens. As I slumped down on the first stone bench I encountered sobs were already shaking me uncontrollably.

I cried because it was unfair that such an innocent life should be taken by something so simple as a sickness. I cried because I hadn't managed to convince them of the presence of the sickness in Lannisport before it spread to the rock. I cried because I was feeling nauseous again and had probably infected myself and would fall victim to the same fate. But most of all I cried because I couldn't understand why I was crying. I hadn't even cried this much after the red wedding.

I knew I would die.

Why did that make me so sad?