Carliene Stark

Chapter 49

Carliene

They let me out more and more during the next days, not without supervision though. I felt almost like a pet, one that was taken out for walks now and then when it was good.
It wasn't just walks though. They let me pray with them in the small castle sept or we stitched in the gardens. I hated stitching. I had never been good at it and worse yet I seemed to lack all creativity to think of any patterns. I wanted to display a wolf tearing a lion to shreds, but I feared that my lack of talent would only cause a disfigured picture and that I would make a food out of myself.
I disliked praying even more. Not only because I didn't want anything to do with the gods, but because the sept reminded me of my wedding night. It caused my heart to beat into a hollow chest and turn my knees weak. That night lead to this, I though as I pressed a flat hand against my abdomen.

We were in the sept white often as it seemed to be Dorna's custom to pray seven times a day. Once for each of her seven gods. It gave me a lot of time to study structure and the seven statues. They were twice as tall as even the Hound and all in gold. This was Casterly Rock after all. I preferred the smith's statue, it somehow had a kind face, which reminded me a bit of Ser Rodrick. Ser Rodrick who had once whipped my hands for borrowing a sword and cutting myself with it while practicing. It taught me not to cut myself the next time.

The stranger intrigued me the most. I couldn't quite understand how people could pray to an unknown figure. The statue was nothing put a bog cloaked figure, devoid of all features. The maiden was naked, her long her covering any of her unholy parts. As I looked at the statues I wondered who had made them. And if they were solid gold or had just been covered in it.
As in most septs the altar of the mother and father were favoured above all and held the most candles. I despised them the most. Between them is where they ripped my grey cloak from my shoulders and my life and smothered me in a red and gold one.

So when Dorna placed a candle into my hand with a hopeful expression in her face I did not light it at the mother's altar as might be expected of a woman with child. I didn't chose the maiden either. Instead I stepped in front to the warrior, who held his golden sword high above his head and a shield at his side. I lit the withe candle and placed it next to the others, to trow a warm glow onto the statue. 

"What did you pray for?"

My eyes tore from the large statue and looked to my side. Janei was standing next to me, her unlit candle still in her hands as she stared up. The glow of the candles was reflecting in her green eyes. 

I shrugged, turning my gaze back up at the warrior. "What does the warrior grant you?" Mother had taught us a few things about her new gods, which she had brought north wither her as she was wed to my father. But I had never really though it a priority to remember much of it. 

"Strength and courage" Janei recalled. "Soldiers and knight usually pray to him before they ride off to battle"

"Oh" It made sense. "I see you still have your candle" I pointed out, wanting to keep the conversation going. 

She looked down at the white wax candle in her hand. The she studied me. "Shouldn't you be praying for your baby?" she questioned her eyes lingering on my abdomen for a moment. 

I shifted on my feet. "I don't know, should I?" I questioned a bit uncomfortable.

Janei shrugged. "I'll pray for your baby" she leaned over the altar and lit the candle before placing it next to mine. "I pray that the warrior grant it strength and courage"

I stared at her. I need that more than this unborn thing growing in me. "Thank you" was the only thing I managed. We had never properly spoken before and there was no need for her to be so kind to me. Was this her mother's doing?

"Where is Mia?" I suddenly pondered, changing the subject. I had noted that I hadn't seen the little common girl around since Joanna's passing.

A shadow seemed to fall over the girls face. "She's been betrothed to a knight, her father owed money to" she told me a mixture of sadness and anger in her tone.

"I'm sorry" I truly was. Losing two friends in such a short time must have been hard.

Janei shrugged. "Martyn says I'll be sent off to marry soon too" she tried to hide the nervous undertone, but I could pick it out. 

"You don't want to go" it was more of a statement than a question. 

The girl looked to her mother on the other side of the room before shaking her head. "He says I'll have to marry some ugly Frey, who's already old and wrinkly"

I had to laugh at that. It was the first genuine laugh that I could remember having in a long time. And it earned me many disapproving glares as it echoed through the halls of the sept. It was such an innocent worry, something that could have come Sansa's lips. 

"I'm sure your father would never let that happen" I assured.

"You don't know my father" she mumbled. "Your father would never have allowed you to marry cousin Jamie, but you still had to" she pointed out. 

A knot formed in my throat. Her words caused shame to once again boil up in my insides. She's a smart girl, I noticed. I looked back at the stature. I pray for courage.

The other ladies seemed to have finished their prayers as Alysanne came over to escort us out. Luckily this was the last prayer session of the day and we headed to take our supper. It was a warm evening, with breeze blowing in from the hills in the east. A table had been set up under a white canopy in the garden. We sat down in the rays of the setting sun, while Dorna's handmaidens told the servants to bring our supper.

"There is to be a feast held in a couple of days" the Lannister Lady informed me. "To celebrate the end of the pox and the reopening of the harbours in Lannisport"

My mood lit up a little. "That's great news" My voice was genuine.

"I've invited a dressmaker, to make a dress for each of you for the occasion"

Janei and I exchanged a look. "Thank you mother" the girl smiled politely.

I bowed my head in agreement. "That is very kind of you my Lady"

Dorna beamed, her round cheeks turning red. "Don't you mention it. It is our duty as Ladies to look our best" she insisted, stroking her daughters cheek.

How silly, I thought. There was a war happening, people were being slaughtered or starving in their homes and our greatest concern was to look pretty.

The servants brought our supper then, as Dorna's handmaids poured us fresh water. There was stewed rabbit, with onions and turnips and a thick gravy. Once again it was delicious and I only hoped that it would not end up on my chamber pot again. That would truly be a waste.