Sander's 'Sitting! Sander's Sides x Reader

Chapter 26 - ...And Starts With Hope

Y/N POV

I wake up with someone's arms around me. I'm so sleep deprived, and I'm feeling so delusional that I can't turn to see who it is. I don't know where I am. My headphones are on, no sound coming through them, and all I can hear is a muffled beeping. My vision is blurred, and all I can see are blurry silhouettes and the shine of fluorescent lighting. I rub my eyes and turn on my phone. I can barely read the time: 6:01. It's really early. I decide to close my eyes for just a little while longer, and I turn on some music. (A/N: I recommend turning on the music above now. There will also be a few other times when you can start the music if you want to. I will be writing an original song for another chapter in the future. Keep restarting the song, which I'm sorry that I have to ask that of you guys, but I couldn't find a longer version of this song that didn't cut off in awkward places.)

I bask in the warmth of the person's arms around me. It's a familiar feeling, and I'm too delusional to care. I close my eyes and become lost in my thoughts.

~flashback~

I'm transported back to a time where I was innocent. Three years old, with dad at my side, as well as Logan, Patton, Virgil, and Roman. I remember this moment all too well. It was the day my parents had died, and we were waiting for a statement from the hospital. I see myself crying in their arms, hoping that my mother comes home.

In an instant, I'm four years old. It was one of the many nights that I had a nightmare. Yet again, I'm crying in my dad's arms. The others weren't in the room with us, but even then I could feel them there. Dad was singing to me softly, just as he always had.

"Just close your eyes
The sun is going down
You'll be alright
No one can hurt you now
Come morning light
You and I will be
Safe and sound"

Dad sings to me in his soft, calming, loving voice, and I watch as my younger self slips back into sleep. I feel like I'm doing the same. The last thing before my vision of myself disappears is my four year old, staring into my soul, with tear filled eyes.

I become transported to so many different times. I see the same scene every time. I wake up screaming and crying from some terrible nightmare, and the door opens. I see Logan walk in the door in this particular scene. He has his tie undone, meaning that he was about to turn in for the night. Looking back on those days, and even now, Logan never went to sleep or woke up at reasonable times. He was almost always awake, so he would come check on me very often. I watch as Logan frantically runs over to my bed and starts asking me questions. I, Of course, asked him to sing for me. It was the only time Logan would sing. Though he acted like he was emotionless most of the time in those days, he was always warm. It didn't matter that he hated emotions, or that he acted cold, he always showed that he isn't a robot. He always knew exactly what to do when I was upset, and though he's smart, Logan didn't need logic or knowledge to make me feel better when I was distressed. In these times, he would sing to me, which he refused to do under any other circumstances. He hated singing otherwise, yet he would never argue, hesitate, and after a while, I didn't even have to ask for him to sing to me. I noticed that it was the only time he acted on instinct and not logic. Just like a mother.

After a while, Logan started showing his emotions more, especially after I sing on stage with Roman. Maybe I was the one to help him discover that he's not a robot. He always felt comfortable talking to me, along with Virgil about what he was starting to feel. We'd sit and listen to Twenty One Pilots, and we'd talk about nothing in particular. It's become a tradition after doing it for over a decade, and it's one I cherish. Logan... someone who started out as a robot, and discovered that logic and calculation should be put aside sometimes so that emotion can shine through.