Venus Eaton is desperate to escape the abuse of her previous faction although she is unaware and unprepared of the ordeals of Dauntless initiation. She is a stranger to her own brother until he accuses her of murdering their mother, and finds out th...
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ERIC
I WASH my hands of her blood, the last bit of evidence of her existence. My hands burn under the water and red blood fills the basin and I grip and ungrip my hands into tight fists.
When I shut off the water, her blood is still in my nails, flushing down the plughole, her blood is still in the crevices of my skin. My hands are a blush red, is it the hue of her blood that is now gone, or the consequence of washing it off with blazing hot water?
I don't know. I don't know. I close my eyes tight, and when I open them, there isn't a speck of blood anywhere.
Another living nightmare, because I've finally accepted that I've killed her.
I lean against the white door, pressing my head against the wood. Anger washes over me and I swing my closed fist at the mirror beside me. It smashes, shards of glass fall to the floor in sharp edged splinters, I ignore the ache of my knuckles and the longing sting.
Viewing my expression in the shards of glass, I swing the door open and trudge into the awaiting destruction of my living room, head down, imagining my sweetheart sitting in the ruins.
The red hue of my hands has not gone away. It remains, predominately her blood, and I ignore the stiffness in my face from crying. I don't want anyone to see I've been crying. There's a knock at the door, and I am still.
"Eric?" The voice calls. I remain still. The knocking comes again and my teeth grind as i get up, avoiding the smashed ornaments and books on the floor as I stalk toward the arched doorway.
Opening the door, Max stands awaitingly outside.
"May I come in?" He asks.
I shake my head. "That wont be happening."
"Don't tell me you've destroyed the place, Eric." There is a flash of frustration in his voice but otherwise, his face holds a kind touch. The last time I completely destroyed my house he was there to help me get it back in order. But now, I don't want it back in order. Without her here, it'll never be the same. Without her here, I'll never be the same.
"You cant help me, Max. I'm getting through this on your own." My voice is hoarse.
"You have to let the past go, E-"
"Let the past go?" I raise my voice now, however rough it sounds. "I know exactly what'll happen, Max! I'll head straight to the Pit and bring one of those Dauntless girls back to my place, and then I'll kick them out and break their hearts again. I'll regret doing it, like I'm regretting now, because I killed her, Max!" I run a hand through my hair. "I killed Venus, and I can't just move on and do the same to the next girl I meet. I dont want to do that anymore."
Max breathes in. He exhales, and looks down, brooding silently.
"I came to tell you... uh, her... her funeral is being held tomorrow-"
"Funeral?" I scoff, and my fists slowly clench at my sides again. "I told them to keep searching. I never told them to stop!" I remember the day Georgina died. How I never got to see her again, alive or dead, because the lid of her coffin was already closed. A part of me plans that isn't going to happen again, not even now.
"They can't go on looking forever, Eric. Admit that she's dead and attend her funeral tomorrow. She'll appreciate it." He stands, stuck for what to say and I raise a brow at him, waiting for him to waste my time further.
"Oh, and Daine wants to speak to you." Max says. "He hasn't been responding to her death greatly, but he wants to talk to you-"
"Of course he isnt taking it well!" I snap, my eyes blazing. I always knew Daine had a thing for her, and now I think it would've been better for her if she was with him.
I don't bother grabbing a jacket, I just step out and shut the door tightly behind me. Max opens his mouth to speak but I'm already walking away, anger pushing me to walk quicker. Daine was better for her. If Daine was with her, shed still be alive. That day, she came into Dauntless headquarters to save me, but I killed her and our child. I was so selfish, so out of my mind...
Venus was mine, and I took that too seriously.
I should've let her go as soon as Daine laid eyes on her, so she could still be alive today, where I could look in her round, almond eyes and give her lectures that she wouldn't take seriously, and let her push me around every so often to gain a reaction.
How did we happen?
I get no response.
I walk down the steps from the sixth floor, the steps shed climb to reach my apartment or run from it. I pass the dormitories, now filled with new initiates, where Venus would walk from and head to training. I see her, her beautiful figure, her kinked brown hair, her beautiful smile.
She looks at me, but she is almost looking past me. Then she scowls at me disapointedly, and continues her way. I open my mouth to say something, to say her name, but nothing comes out. Anger fills me and I cant bring myself to turn away, not even when she rounds the corner.
I walk past the water fountain, shone down by the blue light. I can hear the sound of the water at the chasm from here, just like she heard it, the sound that bought her closer when she found me shoving Rebecca from the chasm.
Rebecca was so different. Even after i pushed her, i could bare her presence no longer around me. I got bored of Rebecca, I never got bored of Venus, not even now, I'm still in love, still in love with a dead girl.
The railings of the chasm appear, and I see Venus again. She is hanging onto the top bars by her fingertips, and she screams and I watch her, unable to move.
This is when Rhett and Peter and Kathleen and Al pushed her off, and I saved her. I want to replay that day. I wish I would've let her fall, so they killed her instead of me.
I approach her slowly, and she cranes her head up to look at me. Her eyes drill into mine and she says something I don't hear. I lean down, hoping to touch her skin, hoping to drag her into my arms and hold her there, but then she disappears.
Cold mist coats my fingertips and she's gone.
I clench my teeth together, resisting the urge to punch something again.
