My Blind Love For The Alpha

two

I'm friends with the monster that's under my bed. Get along with the voices inside of my head. You're trying to save me, stop holding your breath ≈ The Monster, Eminem ft. Rihanna

••

It's dark, but darker than usual if that's even possible. The noises start quietly and get louder and louder in my ears, coming from in front of me, behind me and all around me.

'It's your fault, you stupid child.'

'You deserved to lose your sight, they lost their life.'

'Run.'

A push in the back causes me to scream and stumble, something catches my foot and I begin falling through the air, trying to find the ground.

And then I find myself sitting up with a start and sweat running all down my body and a half scream half cry exiting my mouth. Arms are already circling my body and pulling me close to his body, Drew instantly in protective brother mode.

"Gemma, you're okay Gem. Calm down, I've got you. You're going to be okay."

I finally open my eyes and blink into the darkness, "It's so dark," I whimper, nuzzling my face into the shirt on Drew's chest.

"I've got you, Gem, nothing's going to happen to you."

••

Arriving at school feeling exhausted already, I can tell it's going to be a tough day. Everyone woke up last night when I had my nightmare and they all knew what it was about. Sadly, they couldn't do shit about it. No one can.

Before the car has come to a complete stop one of the car doors is already opening and I heard Drew call out Ryan's name just as the door slams shut. "Did Ryan just leave?" I ask quietly into the otherwise silent car.

"Uh, yeah he did Gem. Don't worry about him, you know how he gets." Drew answers me, his voice laced with exhaustion.

He stayed up with me after the nightmare, which I was told was about four in the morning. For a while we just sat in silence in my bed but then we ended up getting up and making food. We didn't talk much, not about the nightmare, not about our parents and definitely not about me being blind.

"I'm staying home today, Gem, so if you want to come home get Stacy or Jaz to call me." Grace, Drew's girlfriend, is in the passenger seat next to him and I hear her ask him something quietly. "No, she won't stay home. I've already tried."

Ignoring their conversation about me, I get out of the car and walk into the school with Jaz on my left and Stacy on my right. Stace came over early this morning to help me get ready for school since no one got much sleep last night. She helps out however she can, even if its little things like helping me get out of bed in the morning.

We haven't talked much, she never really knows what to say on days like this. No one does. Do they ask me if I'm okay when they know the answer is no? Do they ask me what the nightmare was about when they know what it is that haunts me in the darkness?

Jaz doesn't say much either, just staying silent until Brody comes and they leave for their first class. Everyone's tiptoeing around me, around my blindness, around the void our parents left.

Stacy and I sit in our first class and I hear the buzz of students around me. The smooth wooden desk sits under my fingers as I try to distract my mind. I focus on the things I can feel, the noises I can hear. A chair being dragged out, a pen falling on the floor, Stacy letting out a deep breath beside me. My heartbeat pounding in my ears. The person staring at me, their eyes boring into my body.