Chapter 19: Thoughts

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"Maya what are you doing back from school already ?" Topanga asks looking up from her papers which were layed out on the dinning table, as I burst through the front door. "Josh" I say biting my lips to stop the tears from falling, her face soften and she nods in understanding. 

"He's in his room" she says making me start walking to the stairs "Maya" she calls out making me stop, "If you need anything I'm always here" she says sweetly making a soft smile pull at my lips. I walk back down a few steps towards her and pull her in for a hug. "Thank you Mrs. Matthews" I mutter pulling away, she nods and let's me go.

I walk up to Josh's room and I'm surprised to find it open. I lean against the door frame looking at him write frantically as books surround him. He looks extremely stressed. I knock softly on the door immediately catching his attention. His eyes land on me, making his face light up. "Maya" he smiles standing up from his desk and walking over to me. As he gets closer his brows furrow and his smiles falters, "What happened?" He question as he reaches me.

I shake my head, letting my tears falls. He pulls me against his chest, wrapping his arms around my small frame and kissing the top of my head before running his fingers through my blonde locks. "It's okay" he assures me "I'm here baby" he reminds me "I'm always here" he adds making my heart skip a beat.

"They know" I say pulling away slightly, but he looks down at me confused. "Zay, Lucas, Farkle" I trail off as his eyes widen. "Oh" he whispers tightening his grip on me, "What happened?" He asks lifting one of his hands to caress my cheek. " They probably think I'm a slut or something" I say looking down.

"Nop" Josh says shaking his head as I look up at him, "I thought we weren't going to have this discussion but appears we do" he sighs before cupping my face in between his heads.

"I liked you and decided to take the next with you, you were my girlfriend and you gave me your consent to have sex. I'm sure almost all your friends aren't virgins as well. Even though we weren't careful and I got you pregnant, it does not mean one single bit that your are a slut, and you better believe it because if you think you are a slut, what does it make me? A pervert?" I bite my lip and nod.

"You're right" I agree "I'm sorry" I apologise making a soft smile pull at his lips. "Anytime baby" he says before leaning down and pressing a soft kiss to my lips.

"Now" he breathe out once we pull away. "Wanna cuddle and watch a movie?" He asks making me nod vigoursly. His hand falls to my thighs and in one swift motion he picks me up bridle style as let out a yelp.

"How can you carry me?" I ask confused as he slowly places me on his bed. "You're as light as a feather" he shrugs climbing into bed and moving closer to me. "But I'm pregnant?" I argue pointing to my stomach.

"So?" He raises and eyebrow "Maya you're tiny and light just deal with it" he chuckles making me roll my eyes playfully.

"Speaking of being pregnant how's the pumpkin doing?" He asks making me smile as I glance down at my stomach. "Pretty good but I'm starting to show" I admit pulling my shirt up to show Josh my little bump. I say little bump when in reality, there's barely a bump at all.

He places his hand on my stomach and I glance up at him, finding him looking down at my stomach memorized. "It's getting real, isn't it?" I ask snapping him back into reality, he bites his lip and nods.

"Do you think it's a boy or a girl?" He asks curiously making me bite my lip. "No clue" I shrug "maybe a girl?".

"A mini Maya" he smiles looking down at me lovingly, "or a mini Boing" I add making him chuckle, "Both adorable" he nods in agreement. 

~🍼~

I switch position for what feels like the millionth time making me groan in annoyance. If I keep moving and getting frustrated Josh is definitely going to wake up. I sigh and climb out of bed deciding to go get a glass of milk.

I'm on my second cup when Josh comes downstairs to join me. "Can't sleep?" I nod watching him take a seat next to me, I hand him my cup and he shoots me a soft smile before taking a sip of my milk.

"Care to explain what's on your mind?" I bite my lip and shrug. "I don't know, I guess I'm just getting in my head about when I won't be able to hide my bump, the whole school will think I'm some sort of slut or something." I sigh finishing my milk.

"Maya" Josh breathes out "You have to stop thinking about what others think" he says making me roll my eyes. "Easier said than done" I snip standing up and placing my cup in the sink.

"I'm going back to bed" I whisper but he grabs my wrist and pulls me down to him. " Do you care about my feelings towards our baby?" He asks randomly, I furrow my brows but nod nonetheless, "Of course why would you ask that?" I ask confused.

He waves me off and asks another question, "Do you care about let's say a girl you have maths with feeling towards our pumpkin?" He asks, but I shake my head.

"Do you get what I'm saying?"

"I can see what you're trying to do but" I trail off shaking my head. He takes my hand and intertwines our fingers before kising my knuckles. "I'm attempting to make you understand that no matter what anybody says your feelings towards yourself or pumpkin shouldn't be affected but someone else emotions. What you think of yourself is the only thing that matters Maya" he explains making a soft smile pull at my lips.

"I love you Josh" I admit leaning down to leave a quick peck on his lips.

"I love you too baby" he smiles.

"Which one?" I giggle "Both" he smirks leaning up for another kiss.

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-Mel ❤

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