26.01. :: jastin

chapter one

nov 12, 2017

so today we finally settled into our new house, well more like i settled into my new room. took me a whole week to unpack all my things and put them away where i wanted them to be. but in retrospect, it's better than anything else i've attempted to do.

remember that painting that i was doing? the one i talked about mid summer, yeah i never finished it. it's still half done in my art folder. and i don't think i'll ever finish it. i'm not feeling that summery feeling anymore. now it's all about cold and darkness.

cold and darkness are like my best friends now, i find so much comfort in them. the half foggy state that i am in constantly makes me want them be in my presence all the time and honestly i don't think i ever not want to be in that foggy/hazy state. it's awesome!

oh almost forgot to mention, tomorrow is my first day at my new school. in whole honesty, i didn't want to move here and i sure as hell didn't want to change schools, especially not when senior year had just started. but it's not like my parents actually care what i think or feel.

i guess that's why it's so easy for me to hide the drugs or sometimes the obvious alcohol smell on my breath.

but if i look at it from a completely different side, maybe being here will be better for them. after all they're away from all the people they know and no one knows us here. it'll be better for them once the times comes and everything will be done and gotten over with.