uncontrollable | ethma (e.d & e.c)

-f o u r t e e n-

Ethan's POV

i've been going to emma's house a lot recently. which has been fucking me up. sure, getting to spend time with her was amazing but my sleep schedule hasn't been the same. i was used to going to bed late and waking up late but it was at reasonable times. the last few couple of days, absolutely no sleep. it's like my eyes didn't want to close.

when i get home, i turn the door handle softly, to not wake up gray. i assumed his dumbass was asleep early.

i check my phone, it was 12:30 am. when i called gray, it was like 8:00 or something like that. emma and i talked, which made me loose track in time.

the whole house was a little dark. no lights seemed to be on. i peek my head into grayson's room, who was dead asleep.

i take a look at the ceiling in bed. my mind made me see dots reappear above me, like glistening stars. i blink a few times and look around the room. fuck.

since i wasn't going to sleep anytime soon, i take my phone off the charger. i decide to just text emma.

fucking help

she quickly responded.

why are you awake lol

it's you're fault ,
you messed up my
sleeping schedule

well sorryyyy count
fucking sheep or some
shit

emma i'm not five

then deal with it😘

oh fuck you

love you too❤️

looking back at our conversation, i smile. and i didn't even mean too. it's like looking at an old picture, a really good memory, remembering everything that had happened, everyone you love being there and just genuinely being happy looking back at it. something i can't put into words well. something only i could process well.

i wanted to have that. pictures, videos and good memories with emma. there was a lot of pressure of having a public relationship, but it was something i dreamed of.

i wanted to tell her. i really did. but i didn't wanna seem cheesy and stupid. i have to tell grayson, that was the first step to it all.

the brightness off my phone was burning my eyes. the phone didn't help me fall asleep.

i sigh.

i continuously toss and turn for hours. my eyes are dead asleep, but nothing else.

the house was so silent and dim. i could hear the slightest sounds that the house would make. i turn on the light around my bed, to maybe help me sleep better.

————
i open my eyes. my eyelids are heavy, and difficult to open. i rub them continuously.

i look back at my phone to check the time, it was close to 3 o'clock.

fuck. i let my upper body fall back onto my pillow. because of my fucked up sleep schedule, i fall into a deep sleep.