Ziall-Colour My World

Chapter Ten

Heya guys, So I'm not here again today, But I wanted to give you guys a quick update, So I really hope you like it, Leave me your feedback. 

Zayn's Pov:

I know exactly what I have to do. I know I have to come out to keep Niall, Even after everything I'm still scared. Even if I done all this there was still the chance of him rejecting me, I couldn't take it if he did. But why wouldn't he reject me all I've ever done is hurt him, I took his heart then shattered it, He then trusted me with it and once again and I betrayed his trust, I know this time it wasn't my fault but if I'd never hurt him in the first place he would have more trust in me. Why couldn't I just be good enough for him? Why did I have to hurt him? We could have had everything but because of me we lost it. I sighed before grabbing my digital camera, I turned it on and began to look at the pictures, Pictures of my family, Friends, Me and Niall. They've been on my camera since the very start, I just haven't had the heart to delete them, They remind me of the happy times, The times all we had was our love for eachother, There was no hate, Lies, Shame, No regret. Why did that have to change, Why did the happiness have to fade away to complete emptiness? I sighed clicking through the photos, There was one of me and Niall in the back of a car I had fallen asleep leaning against him, There was another one that Niall took while we was at a photoshoot, There was one of me, Niall and Liam together, I had my fingers securely gripped to Niall's hip bone. Then there was ones of our very first date, I smiled remembering that night clearly. Our first date was the very first time I told Niall I loved him. I scouted through even more photos remembering all the amazing memories I shared with him. I then remembered the day Niall left, He walked out my life without even a goodbye, We argued over whatever slag it was I slept with, Niall he refused to speak to me, I then came home one day to find Niall was gone, His clothes wern't in there usual place, There was no traces of Niall, All that was left was a simple note that read. 

'Now you can have everything you ever wanted, And I won't be in the way, Goodbye Zayn.. Niall'

My world crumbled around me at that moment. Then a week later the news began to spread of One Directions split, The fans were asking questions that never got answered. 

Niall he's my entire world. How could I ever believe I could live a life without him? Until this tour came around I'd shut Niall out my life, I pushed my feelings aside for him and continued having one night stands that meant nothing to me. Niall he's the only person I've ever truly loved. Louis and Harry they made it look so easy, Why couldn't I be like them? Why couldn't I be the kind of person to not worry about what people think of me? I let my pride get in the way and I lost Niall because of it. Before I went on national telly and made a complete prat of myself I needed to speak to Niall. I walked into the backroom of the tour bus where I knew he would be. 

"Niall can we talk?" I asked, No reply. "Niall please?" I added. "I know that song was about me Niall I-" Niall cut me off. 

"I don't have to listen to this" Niall said before standing up, I grabbed his arm. "Zayn let go" He said. 

"No" I replied firmly.

"Zayn let fucking go!" Niall yelled.

"No! I let you go before Niall, I've let you walk out of my life without even trying to get you back. I refuse to do that again. I lost you because I didn't have the fucking guts to fight for you! I'm not letting you leave my fucking life Niall not again! The girl was part of my management team Niall! Even if she wasn't I wouldn't have fucking touched her! I got you back Niall why the hell would I risk losing you again? I said I love you and I fucking meant every word. I know you don't believe me and I don't blame you for it Niall but I'm telling you the truth. I love you Niall, I don't want to lose you, I've been a coward and I know that, But I love you, God I love you so much Niall, Don't ask me to be without you again because I can't" I said holding on tighter to Niall. 

"I keep trusting you and you keep letting me down, Just stop Zayn, Just let me go" Niall cried out, It broke my heart to see tears fall from his eyes, I shook my head. 

"I can't, I can't let you go Niall, Not again. I refuse to watch you be in the arms of someone who isn't me. I can't stomach the thought of somebody else holding you, Kissing you, Making love to you, I want to be the reason you smile, I want to be the one who makes you laugh until your crying tears of happiness. I can't think of you waking up beside somebody who isn't me. I can't watch you be with somebody else" I replied pouring my heart out. 

"Why are you telling me this now? I could have gone a lifetime not knowing this!" Niall yelled. 

"Because if I didn't tell you I would have exploded. Your an addictive drug Niall, I need you like I need the air in my lungs without it I can't breathe, Then I die. Without you in my life it's not worth living Niall. I want you back Niall, And I'm fighting to get you so why won't you help me do that?" I asked. 

"Because I'm afraid" Niall whispered, I closed my eyes to try and stop the tears that threatened to fall. 

"Of me?" I replied, Niall shook his head. 

"No, I'm scared for what tomorrow brings. I'm scared of getting hurt again, I'm scared of living each day wondering whether I can trust you, I'm scared of living a lie again. I'm scared that I'm going to give you my heart again and your just going to break it as if it's nothing, I'm scared of the love I feel for you" Niall cried out, I walked closer to him and cupped his cheek in my hand. 

"I'm scared too, But the one thing I know Niall, Is I love you so much, And I won't stop fighting for you until your mine again. I won't give up on you Niall, I done it before and it was my own personal hell. I'm not letting you walk away not without a fight" I said looking Niall deeply in the eyes, I then kissed his lips softly before walking off, I then pulled out my phone and called my manger. 

"Can you set up an interview tomorrow?" I asked.

"Of course Zayn but why?" She said. 

"There's something I need to do" I replied. 

"What's that?" She asked. 

"Something I should have done a long time ago" I replied before hanging up. I'm sorry Niall but I can't let you walk away not again, You wanted me to fight for you so that's what I'm going to do.