Karly-
I'm back.
It's been years since you last heard from me. Amir was the last baby I had and he is almost 3 years old. Karlynn is 16 years old now. This brat has everything I didn't have when I was 16 but she doesn't like it. I heard her over the phone telling her lil friend that she wanted to be from the "hood". I laughed about it for a second but then I got mad. Why would you want to be from the hood when everyone in the hood wants to have everything you have. Karlynn is gonna work up my nerve with that shit. I did everything I could to make it to where I am now.
I guess she wanna be like me when I was younger. Getting raped by older man, getting took away from my mom. Running away and hanging in the streets. I did all of that but I made sure before I turned 21 that I had everything together before I even knew that my dad had some money for me. That's not even the biggest problem. Karlynn is now getting to the age where she wants to know about her father and who killed him and all that investigation shit. I don't blame her.
I was the same way looking for my father. But how should I tell her that Amir's dad killed her dad ?. I don't want to hurt her or make her look at me different that's why I've been avoiding her questions. It'll hurt me to see my teenage daughter hurt cause of the truth, but I know someday I have to tell her the truth.
I woke up in the morning. All my kids were still sleeping. Its 5 am, Karlynn and KJ don't get up until 7 am. I run me a bubble bath in my large tub. I love relaxing in my tub. I miss them days when Kendrick would be in the tub with me. He was a hood nigga but he loved bubble baths. I always teased him about that kind if stuff. I was in deep thought about all the memories me and Kendrick had. Miss them days when I could be laid in his arms. I don't got nobody now. Don't no nigga want a bitch with 4 kids. Well at least some don't. Some niggas been all over me even joked to be my kids stepdaddy.
I laugh at that joke all the time because nobody and I do mean nobody can handle my kids. They all are crazy and all have smart mouths. I can't deal with them half the time, but I love them with all my heart. They all I got. I haven't been in love for some years and I think its time. After August died and I had Amir I was done with relationships, love allat other shit.
I think I'm ready now. But I don't wanna just bring any kind of man around my kids. I wanna make sure that man is good. I just hope my crazy kids don't scare him away. I emailed a few producers and artists. I'm back singing out here. I finished my relaxing session until I was damn near wrinkled from the water. I got out and got dressed into my satin silk two piece and a robe. My body was still banging to have had 4 kids.
I heard Karlynn's Alarm go off. I walked into Amir's room. He was still sleeping. I walked to his bed and looked at him. "Damn he look like his dad" I whispered. I left out his room and went into the hallway. Karlynn was standing there looking mean. "What's wrong ?" I asked. "Nothing mom, it's just that time of the month" she said. "Awwn, I'm sorry" I said rubbing her head. "I'm good mama" she said. She went in the bathroom and I went into K.J's room. "Kendrick, wake up" I said. "I'm already up mama I just need a few more minutes" he said. "You better stay off that game at night and maybe you can sleep" I said. I left out his room and went into the kitchen to make breakfast.
I made Eggs , Bacon, Sausage, Rice, Cinnamon rolls and French toast from scratch. I can throw down. After I was done I started eating. My phone rang right after I put my plate In the sink. It's probably Vanessa crazy ass. I grabbed my phone and it was my manager. Oh shit I probably got a gig or something. "Hello" I answered. "Hey bitch" said my manager Tia. "Hey tia" I said. "Well I got some news" she said. "I'm listening" I said. "Do you know 600 Breezy?" She asked. "No I don't" I said. "Well he's a Chicago Drill rapper and he wants to meet you" she said. "600 , 600, Ohhhh the fine ass hood nigga from that party I went to in Chicago" I said. "Yes" she said. "Ohh yes I'll be glad to work with him" I said. Tia laughed. "Well he having a mixtape release party here in Atlanta and he invited you" she said.
