Karly-
*A Few Months later*
Today is Khadija's birthday, my love is turning 5 and I can't believe it. I'm throwing her a birthday party at a community center near our house. It's princess themed cause Khadija loves her princesses. I hired princess Tiana to come to the party and sing some of the songs to her . I wish he was here. I wish Kendrick was here. Sometimes I look back and asked why was I so quick to talk to another man all cause something ain't working out with my man.
I snapped back from a day dream and helped Khadija get a slice of her cake. "Now don't get too dirty baby, mama wanna take you somewhere else later" I said. I lied I just wanna take good pictures of her. Sometimes you gotta lie to yo babies to get some done. I sat down to take a break from running around all day. I sipped my little thing of wine that I had poured at home. I need this to relax.
I looked around and smiled at all the fun the kids were having. I love children and I got 4 of them. Sometimes I wish I could just have one more baby at this point I don't care if it's a boy or girl I just wanna lil baby. "Happy Birthday Lil Mama" said a voice. I looked up at the door and Montana was standing there with balloons and a couple bags of gifts. I smiled. He has been the best's friend I've ever had in the past months.
He helped me get through all the depression and anxiety from getting raped again. He texts me everyday to make sure I'm okay. We talk on the phone all the time to get into deep conversations. I know what y'all saying. "This bitch fuck every nigga that she come across" or "Damn you start liking every nigga you come around", But I'm actually not into him. I find him attractive and all that but I'm not actually falling for him.
I'm scared, I'm scared to fall for someone else cause of what happen to me. What if he just wanna get close to me to rape me. I don't trust nobody no more I'm scared and I feel vulnerable now. I shouldn't even be letting all these niggas round my kids. Wait wait but this nigga actually killed the nigga that raped me how can I not trust him ?. "Heyyy Karly" said Montana. "Hey boo" I said. I got up and hugged him tight. My body started getting lost as he hugged me I snapped outta that shit. "No I will not fall for him" I said to myself. "How you been ?" He asked.
I fixed my leggings and my shirt. "Well I been good you know taking it one day at a time" I said. He pulled me in close by my arm. "You eat today ?" He asked. I looked down and back at him and smiled. "Man go eat" he said. Okay after what happen to me I definitely didn't eat in days, I just did not have an appetite. I walked over to the table and started making a plate. "You want some too ?" I asked Montana. "Yes Ma'am" he answered.
I made our plates and sat down at the table. I put the fork in some Mac and cheese and lifted it to my face. Montana watched me. "What ??" I asked. "Girl you playing to much" he said. "Okay imma eat you ain't gotta watch me" I said, tryna get smart. He shook his head. He started eating his food. I started eating my food for real. Karlynn walked over and sat next to me. "Hey Montana" she said. "Wassup lil mama" he said. "Big mouth Bessie, gon and go bout yo business" I said. "What mama ?, I'm not even saying nothing" she said as she spaced her hands out.
"Go start cleaning and packing up cause we fin to go" I said to Karlynn. "Okay" she said. Me and Montana stood there and was talking about different business plans we had and was laughing. "MAMA" said Amir Yelled. I looked over and he was pointing at his juice on the table. "Uh uhn no, you ain't eat all yo food so you not getting no more" I said. Amir pouted. He ran away screaming and yelling.
"That's his son too" asked Montana. I paused. "My husband ?" I asked. "Uhh yeah" he said. "No, I had a baby with... it's a long story but no my baby have his own dad" I said. I got up and wiped my hands on a napkin and walked over to Amir and picked him up. He started kicking and screaming. "Hey calm down" I said. He started calming his self. I walked him back over to where we was sitting and I wiped his nose.
