Loving You is Loving Me But Who Do I Love First ?(editing)

Loving Me is Loving you But Who Do I Love First ?

Kate

I woke up to a sound that was crazy and aching, my alarm ringing in my ears telling me to get up for school. I didn't want to go but I felt the need to get out of bed at that point of time just to go to hell. I'm not popular but I'm not bullied either so I'm good, I don't have a boyfriend but I plan to get one soon. There's this boy named Shawn that I really like, Kate and Shawn goes so good together. Ok yes my name is Kate I'm Mexican and black I have long light brown curly hair, I'm not thick well at least I don't feel I am. My mom is Keyshia Cole and my dad is Daniel Cole. I don't feel the need to tell everyone at school that mostly because I want real friends not fake ones that love me because I'm the daughter of a star. I have a little brother named Danny Cole and of course my last name is Cole, middle name Daniella, everyone likes me until they get on my bad side. Every boy thinks I have a big booty but I think it's average and I got a coke bottle body. I get up take a shower wash my hair to make it curly then I brush my teeth put on a purple tank top with yellow stars and jean jacket. Light blue skinny jeans, I feel they bring out the color in my jean jacket. Lastly I put on black three inch wedges. I was walking to school since its not that far from home I met up with my best friend Anita shes nice but ghetto shes does fight a lot but I still love her. Anita was someone that don't like to fight but you will still find her in one.

I've known the girl forever and I feel like she always find herself in trouble. She was average height, today's outfit for her was a black and white halter top, dark blue Capri pants and Adidas. She was old school when it comes to dressing. She likes the old things that go out of style. I like that about her though.

"Hey girl," she leaned on my locker. She has to meet with me before class because we don't have many classes together. I don't really want to change it, knowing her she would get me into a lot of trouble and that is something that I don't want. I try to stay out of trouble when I can so that I don't have to much attention drawn to myself. I mean think about it, I'm the daughter of a famous star so anything I do wrong will be on the TV and every news station on the radio. I looked at Anita, we've been best friends for as long as I can remember. She was wearing the jacket that I gave her for her birthday, I forgot to mention. I sometimes buy her things in style just to see if she will wear it.

"What's Gucci," I said as I was getting ready to go to my next class by getting the books out of my locker. I didn't want to carry to much so I just got a my Science book, A notebook and a pen then I closed my locker to try and give her my full attention but I get easily distracted.

"Just chilling did you know.......," I really wasn't paying attention to her I was staring at Shawn, he is so cute and his slick black hair I just want to put my hands though. He was wearing a black tee that had the words 'Football Jerk' on it and black pants with gray and white Jordan's. We talk just not a lot like friends. I guess Anita notices I wasn't paying attention to her so she said something but I still didn't hear then she punched me in the arm. Anita has a strong punch like me, she loves Michael Jackson but I don't really pay attention to the artist when I listen to music she likes chicken I like tacos I know we're opposite I don't know how we become best friends.

"Ow what the hell ?," I said while rubbing my arm I think I even jumped I'm in so much pain. It seems like when you are not paying attention anything hurts more. Just to not get yelled at to bad I poked my lip out pouting at her, giving her my cutest puppy eyes. "Why don't you ask him out already ?," I looked at her like she had shit on her face like no I'm not ready to just go up to him like that's crazy talk. Besides I don't even know if he likes me or he could have a girlfriend. Am I overthinking it? I don't think so but hey these are good observations so I'm going to saying I'm not overthinking this.

"I can't, what if he doesn't like me? what if he plays me? what if I look stupid? what if I have a crazy with him and end up in jail?," You know what maybe I am overthinking this, If he doesn't like me so what that is his lost not mine. I just hope that I can show that confidence when I talk to him.

"Stop thinking negative and go talk to him,"I went over there but I stopped and turn around but then I turn back around ok I'm really going to do this I thought. This is crazy I stopped and opened my mouth but nothing came out. Damn. I knew this was going to happen, I hate being to shy to talk to guys. Now he is probably going to hate me or something.

"Hey just the girl I want to talk to um........I was wondering........if u would like....to go on a date?," He said continuously pausing. I froze and I didn't know what to say but if I didn't say something quick I knew I was going to regret it. I Tried my best to gain confidence and say anything hopefully nothing stupid comes out my mouth. "I would love to here's my number," I said with as much confidence I could gain. I wrote my number on a piece of paper and handed it to him and he took it with a surprised look on his face. Look I've been wanting to have this conversation with you since forever so I was kind of prepared for this. "Give me the details of what time and day and we will pick it up from there. Okay?"

"Um.. okay," After that, I went to all my classes but ever since I talked to Shawn a lot of guys have been staring at me and I like it but don't . My attention only goes to Shawn but I like it because I feel special but I see that Shawn is getting jealous because he keeps eye the boys that look at me like she's mine only. When I was in class I kept writing my name and Shawn's and put a heart around it but then I stare at my name like I never did before. Like I don't like it and I never did which is true I don't like my name because it sounds white I'm not white but its ok. When guys say it makes me feel beautiful but then it goes away but I still like it I guess. My whole name is Katelynn but I don't tell too many people that because one, I don't like to and two, everyone knows my name for some reason if I just say Kate I don't get to much of a reaction. I guess It just doesn't click.

When I got home my Aunt was waiting for me so she can start dinner. So, I live with my Aunt when my mom and dad are gone but she don't care what I do just as long as I get good grades and I got a 3.7 GPA good enough. Well, at least that's what my aunts thinks my mom thinks I can do better and I can have like a 4.5. I'm like I'm not a genius but I guess that's just the future she had set for her children, well she need to push that crap on Danny when he's older not me I'm not going by that standard. As I was in the kitchen taking every smell in I started to smell the food in the microwave. It smelled like mashed potatoes, corn, green and chicken. My Aunt sometimes go all out for dinner I'm guessing she got lazy tonight.

"Dinner is ready. So get it whenever I guess," she says only looking away from the TV for a second. That is basically all she does after work is watch TV and drinks wine, I guess that's her way of relaxing. I nodded my head and then walked over to the microwave to eat since I'm already done here.

I ate and the I started to think about how things where going to change me by being with Shawn. I didn't know whether good or bad, happy or sad I just know that I might be happy and to know that is good enough I guess. I mean Shawn is a nice guy the way he treats me sometimes when we was just friends. In some way I kinda always felt that he liked me but never wanted to say anything we hang out and joke around. When I first went to the school he was the second person to stick up for me the first was Anita. I get in bed after putting on my pajamas they were purple and pink and had white dots and it was shorts and a tank. I get a text from a unknown number and thought it was Shawn but it wasn't. It said that if I don't left Shawn alone I would regret it. Who is this person and how do he or she know Shawn and do I listen to the person I don't know let's just see how it goes I like the idea of a challenge but did I want this kinda. While thinking about it I drifted off to sleep but I feel bad about how my next day it going to go.

If anything I know right now that I need to make the choices our my whole life could go out of control and I don't like the fact that I'm being watched. These are the times when I wish I said to my mom that I wanted to have a bodyguard with me but nooooo I wanted to normal. Once I found out why my mom and dad was always surrounded by cameras I knew that my life was never going to be normal even if I tried to make it that way.