Tom Holland and Peter Parker Imagines

I'll Never Love Again- Peter Parker x reader

Wish I could

I could have said goodbye

I would have said what I wanted to

Maybe even cried for you

The cool autumn air settled around you as you sniffled. You weren't sure if it was from the tears or the inevitable case of sniffles you always got during the fall. You stood in front of Peter's grave, the words stuck in your throat. The flowers you held in your hand fell lamely at your side as you stared at the headstone. Sitting down, you tried to get your breathing to even out before you tried to speak. "Hey, Pete," you started. "um, I really miss you. I never got to say goodbye to you." You spoke, your voice cracking.

"I wish I did get to properly say goodbye. I could've told you everything I didn't get to. Like how much I love you and how much you mean to me. I know I didn't say that before you...before you left." You whimpered, your eyes falling to the ground.

"Maybe I would've gotten to cry over you. I'm sure you're watching over me somehow, you always did do that. Anyway, you'd know that this is the first time I've actually cried over you." You sighed, a small smile breaking out onto your face. "If you were here you'd tell me I need to have a good cry and give myself time to properly grieve," you whispered, feeling more tears spill over. "I guess I didn't want to because once I start grieving it means that this is real. That you're gone, that you're not coming back, that-" You choked out, unable to finish, sobs racking through your body.

If I knew it would be the last time

I would have broke my heart in two

Tryin' to save a part of you

You thought back to the last memory of you and Peter before he went up in the spaceship.

It was the worst argument you had ever had. Both of you were screaming at each other, screaming insults that cut deep. It came to a head when Peter told you that he'd pick being Spiderman over saving your relationship, which led you to storm out of his apartment and back to yours, despite his pleads for you to come back. He knew you knew where your parents kept the liquor. He also knew you wouldn't drink, but when you were upset there was no telling what you'd do. He rushed to your apartment, seeing you in the dimmed lights with a red solo cup in front of you. "Are you drunk? God, please tell me you're not drunk." Peter breathed. "'M not drunk. Wish I was, but 's just water. My head hurts." You mumbled, avoiding his gaze. "Y/N-" He started, cut off by your harsh words. "Go, Peter. Get out." You muttered, not wanting to deal with this right now. "Y/N, please. I love you." Peter tried. "Go home, Peter." You told him, avoiding his sad gaze as he slowly made his way to the door. That was the last time you saw Peter alive.

God how you wished you could see his chocolate brown eyes again, loving the way they crinkled up when he was laughing at something. Or to hear those three words again, the ones you never returned before he left. Your sobs became hysterical as you thought about Peter's death, how scary it must've been, but how he thought you didn't love him because you were too proud to utter those words to him. Pulling out the pictures of the two of you that you brought, you placed them against the headstone along with the flowers. "I kept my favorite shirt of yours, it's at my apartment." You whispered. "It still smells like you and fuck," you cried.

Don't want to feel another touch

Don't want to start another fire

Don't want to know another kiss

No other name falling off my lips

Don't want to give my heart away

To another stranger

Or let another day begin

Won't even let the sunlight in

No I'll never love again

I'll never love again

"God, Peter, I don't want anyone else's touch! I don't want someone else to kiss me, I don't want to give my heart to someone else! I want you! I only want you." You sobbed. "But you're not here and you're not coming back. I don't know how to do this without you." You continued sobbing before you checked the time, noticing it was late and you needed to get home. "I have to get going, Pete. But I love you. I love you so much, please never forget that, wherever you are. Okay? I know I didn't say it before you died, but I really love you. And I can't wait until I get to see you again."