Crash and Burn (1)

just creating, not destroying

♚ ♛

DRY HEAVING AND SHAKING, I made it out onto the sidewalk. Violent, destructive sobs wracked through me with enough force to make me crumple against the brick wall.

I blinked, trying to quell the nausea creeping up my throat.

I couldn't put myself through this. Not like this.

Not with him.

No, he wasn't hurt. He was alive. Now that I knew, I could move on.

Though I remained against the wall, gasping for air, waiting for him to bust through the door and pin me to the wall, demanding that we fight this out.

After a few long, painful minutes of nothing but the sound of passing traffic, I straightened. He wasn't coming after me. Soren didn't hesitate. If he was coming after me, he would've already.

Finally, it wasn't a push or a pull. He was going to let me walk away and fuck, if that didn't make me love him more.

For once, it was my decision. For once, I was leaving him.

Swiping my hands at my cheeks frantically, I mustered up enough confidence to start away from the strip club. It was the only thing that separated us, but it was enough. He was inside and I was outside. We weren't together.

Just before I could round the corner with no destination in mind, I heard the doors burst open.

A frenzy of footsteps had me turning around, wondering if I should run back into his arms or sprint away from him. Instead, I squeezed my eyes shut and just waited. I was so tired.

"Here, cariño."

My eyes popped open as I let out an audible gasp, suddenly finding myself face to face with Adrian. In his uninjured hand was my knife. "I know it's hard," he slurred softly, pulling my hand up. I was struck into silence when he pressed it into my shaky palm. "But it is almost over. I promise."

"It already is," I snapped, yanking my hand away from him to shove my knife into my bra. "You can fucking keep him."

Adrian chuckled lowly, sliding his hands into his pockets and meeting my gaze. "Believe me, I don't want him as much as you do."

The sharp retort sent my blood boiling. I didn't just want him, I needed him.

"Fuck you. Don't follow me."

The way his lips tilted told me that he was planning to. "Just be careful, cariño."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, whatever. Like you care."

I'd only twisted away from him slightly before he caught my hand. "I mean it. Be careful. He'd be fucking lost if something happened to you."

"Yeah?" I drawled, feeling a fresh tsunami of tears break through. "Tell him to go fuck himself."

Adrian released me, laughing lightly. "Fuck, I am so ready to be the best man at your wedding. That is going to be some epic shit."

I didn't even grant that a response before I whirled away from him.

I was thankful when I didn't hear footsteps. As soon as the purple haze drifted further away, I found myself sinking. I still had nowhere to go. I barely had a plan that scraped the surface of whatever game Seth was playing.

So I sulked slowly along the dark streets of Queens, probably looking like a fucking target. I just didn't care anymore.

Nothing seemed to be registering in my brain anymore.