Crash and Burn (1)

you take care of me and i take care of you

♚ ♛

MY TEETH GROUND TOGETHER as I took in his cautious expression. His brows furrowed and his lips twisted down, anxiety shining through his bloodshot eyes.

"Please... don't leave me again," Soren murmured. "I can't do this without you."

Breathe.

Closing my eyes, I crossed both of my arms over my chest. I had to be stern with him. Soren was a wreck, but he couldn't keep lying to me. Things had to change.

"How long did you think you could hide this from me?" It came out riddled with an exasperation that I had tried to conceal.

When I only received silence, my eyes popped open to find him looking down, chewing lightly on his bottom lip. Soren had kept saying that it didn't concern me and that he didn't want me involved.

But he'd always been planning on coming back. He'd always been planning this. How long had he been planning this?

That was our problem. Soren had seven million goddamn plans in that mess of a head and I was lucky if he'd share three of them with me.

Running a hand through my hair, I tilted his chin until he was forced to meet my gaze. "How could you have possibly thought that I wouldn't find out? You have a tattoo."

His eyes darkened, but they didn't budge. "I was trying to figure out how to tell you."

"Why didn't you tell me before?" I asked, baffled. Soren knew that I had his back. No matter how crazy the plan, no matter how reckless the idea, I always went along with him. I thought I'd proved that. "You didn't trust me? You didn't think I could handle it? What was it, Soren?"

"Lacey..."

That subtle warning in his voice made my fists clench. "Soren, why?" I finally cried out, throwing my hands over my head.

Soren shot out to grip my wrists instantly. "I trust you. I trust you with everything," he sighed, bringing our interlocked hands down to his chest. "I... I didn't want you to see me like that, Lacey."

I felt my brows furrow, but I already knew why. Maybe that was why tears formed in the corners of my eyes before I even asked, "Like what?"

"I didn't just kill him," Soren drawled in a soft, strained voice. "I had to set an example."

I knew what that meant. I knew all too well what that meant.

I'd seen Seth set an example way too many times.

My lips parted with an audible gasp, but Soren dove down to catch them. "Por favor, Lacey. Don't think about it. I did what I had to." His lips dragged away from mine, painfully slow. "I don't like it when you're afraid of me."

Breathe.

Soren would never hurt me. I knew that. It was selfish, but I knew he'd never hurt me and that was what mattered right now. He wasn't like Seth. I didn't need to be afraid of him.

"I'm not afraid of you, Soren," I muttered dryly. "I never have been, remember?"

That was a lie. It was impossible not to be afraid of Soren. There had been several moments I'd been afraid of him, but so much had changed since then.

Soren didn't really acknowledge the statement with much more than a nod before he was whipping his head back and forth to take in the small bathroom. "Can we take a shower now?" The question was urgent and choppy, even as his steady gaze swayed to me.