Efua{light}

chapter 33

Dedicated to Chinwe20

....Memories....

Efeosa POV

As I turned on our family size bed, I couldn't help but weep silently. They say "real men don't cry because it's a sign of weakness." But I don't care!

For the first time in my life is as though my breath is about to be taken from me. Efua has become my life. Yet this life will be altered tomorrow when she finally walks out the door of my life forever. I never knew a day like this would ever come.

Efua was truly my light in this past month of my insanity. For this am eternally grateful. For the first time in my life is as though my breath is about to be taken from me. Efua has become my life. Yet this life will be altered tomorrow when she finally walks out the door of my life forever. I never knew a day like this would ever come.

Efua has truly become my light. Especially in this past month of my insanity. For this am truly grateful. I wish I could actually stop her from going but it would only be as though flogging a dead horse. Her mind was already made up. She really wanted to go and as long as that makes her happy, then am contented.

That was it. I now seek only her happiness and comfort, caring less about myself. It used to be me myself and I. Efua has changed all of that. Even my line of friends were now changed. My life is better today because of Efua but this light is growing dim and is about to quench. I doubt if I can ever survive this darkness that's about to befall me.

I looked at Efua who just turned to my side of the bed and I could see how beautiful she looks as she slept. So peaceful and calm. I stretched my hand and caressed her face lovingly. I tried to quickly remove my hand as she scratched her face softly but I was too late. Her beautiful eyes were already opened before I could move my hand away from her face. She looked at me in awe.

What are you doing Efeosa? She asked with a little frown.

Ehmmmm. I...

Yes? She asked rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand. She looked up at the clock on the wall and yawned. It's just 3am in the morning, and you don't look like someone who has slept at all?

I...was..

Keeping a watch over me? She asked with a little laugh.

I was lost in my thought. This was another aspect of this rear gem. She is fun to be with. Very friendly in did. I love this woman. But, how do I tell her so. How do I express myself to her. I fear that she might reject me. But yet something inside of me assures me to tell her how I feel about her. I summoned the courage and decided to say it. Damming all fears.

Efua. I called her name. Taking her hands in mine.

I love you. I want you to spend the re.....

Stop! she shouted at me. I thought we were done with this discussion about my going?

Look Efeosa, she lowered her voice, you deserve someone much more better than I.

But it's you I want. Please don't say no.

You don't know what you want! How can you Possibly want to spend the rest of your life with a girl like me?

But....

No buts Efeosa. I have told you times without number that our worlds are apart. You're rich, Intelligent, gentle, handsome and a good husband material but...

But not for you? I cut in sharply. Moving towards her side of the bed, I cupped her face with my hands.

Efua, please give me just one chance to be a husband to you. Okay one more month. Or even a week. Without you in my life I will be as good as doomed. You're my light Efua......

Stop! She screamed again. Covering her ears with her hands and shifting away from me as fast as possible. I... Can't do this Efeosa. I....was...she stopped as though she lost her voice.

you...you watched me been raped....I can't even look at you in the face when ever I remember that night. I...am usually covered with shame. At the office I passed through hell trying to hold on for you during the time you were....sick. No one was ready to listen to me. I have been tagged as a nobody here, in your family. And as long as I remain here, I will only be living on past memories of pains, shame and rejection.  And you want me to live with that for the rest of my life? If only dad was still alive. Perhaps I would have considered staying. I would have believed all that your family is now saying.

I may have forgiven you all but I just can't trust all you say just like that. She said with tears in her eyes. My heart sank as I watch them roll down her cheeks. Efua has cried too much for a life time. She deserves to be happy but she wouldn't let me give her this happiness.

I moved closer to her and rested her head on my shoulder. She didn't resist me as she usually does. Instead she appeared so vulnerable.

I patted her head with my hand gently. I was helpless. I needed her to stay. But it was obvious that if she stays, she might become even more unhappy than I could ever imagine. So the best would be to let go.

After all, the only language love speaks and understands is sacrifice. I have to let this precious gift of mine go....even though I would ordinarily do otherwise.

I raised her head gently from my shoulder which was already socked with her tears. I kissed her forehead lovingly as I spoke.

If you go will you be happy? I asked even though I already knew the answer.

She nodded her head while looking away. Trying all she could to avoid looking me in the eye. I smiled at her little show of shyness.

Very well my light. I shall let you go and find that happiness you seek. But know that I will be here waiting for you. Even if it takes eternity. And as long as you are happy, I surely will be okay. With these words, I allowed my tears to roll down freely.

Tomorrow another chapter of my life shall begin. I do not know what I shall be writing in this chapter but I know that Efua has sharpen me so well that I would have no other choice than to write beautifully well.....

Thanks soo much everyone for your patience. I specially dedicate this chapter to Chinwe20 for motivating me to write this chapter even in my tight schedule. Thanks love.And to everyone that reads this story. I love you all.😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘please don't forget to vote, share and comment. That truly count.