Chapter Twelve (12)

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Shawn had been mentally preparing himself for every possible reaction Jean might have upon waking up in his bed that morning with no coherent memory of the previous night. He accepted that she might attack him, or at the very least yell at him. He sat up most the night waiting for the cops to bust down the door and arrest him for kidnapping, so it was a pleasant surprise for him to discover that Jean was actually a very reasonable person, and didn't freak out as she very rightly should have.

He was, however, not expecting Jean to flee his vehicle upon watching the video. It was clear she was in a state of shock. He watched as she slowly walked across the parking lot towards the empty building, her hands over her mouth as she was clearly processing the very disturbing images of herself that she just saw.

She looked completely petrified. It was clear she was so wrapped up in her own head she didn't know where she was or what she was doing

Teaching high school, Shawn had seen all sorts of meltdowns. He dealt with girls on a daily basis who hadn't learned how to handle their emotions yet. However, this was different. She was losing it. She must have been closer to the edge than she had let on, and this pushed her directly over. He wasn't completely sure what the right move was here, but he knew he had to do something.

"Jean?" Shawn called, running a few strides to catch up to her. She didn't stop walking, and he jogged until he was in front of her, putting his hands on the sides of her arms to stop her.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she said quickly, as if she had forgotten he was there all along. Her voice was high-pitched and she waved him off. Her breathing was deep and she covered her mouth with her hands to try to stop it. "I'm sorry....I just...need a...second." She could barely get the words out between each breath.

"Take your time," Shawn said, backing away from her as she turned back towards the car. She started to pace back and forth, her hands still over her mouth and nose as she tried to steady her breathing. Shawn could feel his own hands starting to shake, but he knew he had to keep it cool for the both of them.

Lord, help me. Help her, mostly. Help us both.

She was completely consumed by whatever was playing in her head. Shawn had seen the video too, but he couldn't imagine being on the other side of it, watching yourself having zero control and having no recollection of it. Her actions were enough to gather a crowd around her, so he couldn't imagine what was going through her head now.

Jean glanced back up at Shawn, again, looking surprised that he was there. "I'm sorry, I don't know why," she laughed to herself. "Don't know why I got out of the car." Her breathing was still unsteady. "Let's just go."

"No, you're fine," Shawn said, although he was certain she wasn't. He was afraid to move. "Take your time, I have nowhere to be." Except church, but he gathered this was an extremely valid excuse to miss.

"No, I'm being stupid," she said, waving him over and heading back towards the car. She tried to open the passenger door, but Shawn knew the lock was busted and wouldn't open without the key. She wasn't seeming to understand why the door wasn't opening and kept trying at the handle. When it wouldn't open, she put her hands back over her face.

Shawn walked up behind her and stopped a few feet back to not startle her.

"Jean," he said, certain she wouldn't hear him. She took him by surprise when she spun around to face him.

"Tell me this isn't real," she said, tears flooding into her eyes. "Please tell me this isn't real."

Shawn stood frozen, his heart breaking for the girl from the coffee shop who he barely knew. "It's real, but I promise, it's going to be okay."

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