Chapter Twenty-Six (26)

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She almost told him.

It had been a couple days after Zeiler's wedding, and Jean and Shawn were spending a lot of time together. She knew Shawn would be starting school again in a few weeks, and their time together would be more limited. On this particular night, Jean had to work at Carmello's and didn't want to leave for work. She felt extra guilty and wanted to have this terrible secret off her chest. She had a terrible habit of pushing things out of her mind that made her uncomfortable, and this was one that she had kept away for too long. The cons of telling him were just too much- what if he left her? What if he was so angry at her for hiding it, he told people in his rage? It was too much to dwell on.

One night as she went to leave, she couldn't help the tears that welled in her eyes.

"Hey, are you okay?" Shawn asked, looking up from his laptop as she started to put her shoes on from across the room.

She nodded her head, trying to keep her eyes from his. Her throat was too tight to speak without him hearing the emotion in her voice. Unfortunately for her, however, Shawn didn't buy it.

"No you're not," he said, immediately putting the computer to the side and closing the distance between them. She tried to turn away, but he caught her shoulders and forced her to look at him. "What's wrong?"

Jean didn't know why that question always made her lose it. She broke down, her body shaking as Shawn pulled her close.

"I just have so much I haven't told you. There's so much you don't know about me," Jean said, terrified of how he was going to react after all this time.

"It's okay Jean," he said, chuckling as he held her in his arms. "You don't know everything about me either."

Jean pulled back, her throat making it difficult to swallow. "Shawn, I have some serious stuff, and I'm afraid you're not going to like me after you find out."

"That's nonsense."

"But you don't know."

"Jean, look at me," Shawn said. She closed her eyes and couldn't bring herself to do it. He gently cupped her chin and raised her face to meet his eyes. She reluctantly looked at him.

"We all have baggage. We all have things we struggle with that were not proud of. Give it to God, and when you're ready, in your time, you can tell me. I know it's hard for you to open up sometimes, but I think you've come a long way." He smiled down at her. "I don't have to know everything right now."

She hoped he knew what he was saying, but his words were enough to give her peace for the time being.

Despite her secret, the weeks that passed were arguably the happiest of her life. Scottie moved into Shawn's house and Zeiler and Tyler went away on their honeymoon. Jean grew closer with Scottie; the three of them played video games together and chatted about Scottie's ever growing love for Chloe. He still hadn't gotten the courage to ask her on a date, but they had definitely become good friends. Scottie sought out Jean's "womanly advice," as he called it.

Shawn just loved how effortlessly Jean fit into his life. His friends loved her, and better yet, his mom loved her.

Shawn knew his mom would never openly speak bad about someone, especially his girlfriend, but he knew that she was not the most fond of Megan. When he asked her about it after they broke up, his mom had described her as "not very aware." Shawn didn't need to ask her to elaborate, somehow he already knew. She told Shawn right away that she liked Jean. He knew there was no comparison between Jean and Megan, but when his mom described her a "down to earth," he knew his mom approved.

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