webcam ; f.g

the end.

hello pals! it's me, finally returning to finish this story. thirty thousand reads!! holy shit!!!! thank you all so much- and for 80k on instagram and almost 35k on  r&j! y'all are troopers for reading those and for uhhhhhh hopefully still having this failure of a story in your libraries? 
i'm going to be writing this as i go so i'm not sure how long or short this chapter may be and i'm not sure how happy or sad this finale may be, so i'm sorry for what's to come. it's also not going to be edited, i don't have the energy for that sjdhfgshdgfsjhd

for those of you who may ask if i have returned to wattpad- the short answer is kinda. for those of you who may ask if i'll write again- the short answer is maybe. 
i don't think i'll be writing any more bandom fics. i loved the bandom and being a part of the bandom, but i'm older now. i began writing this story when i was like,, a little kid, (in my eyes. ) it's two years later (i think? idunno) and i'm almost a completely different lad. i've started testosterone, i've gotten tattoos, and i'm in a generally better headspace. writing often put me under a lot of stress- especially when my books began to get "big." and then i realised that shipping real people just like,, wasn't okay and it makes people uncomfortable and i just--- i dunno. it began to make me uncomfortable to write frerard or petekey because they're real people with real lives and stuff. yikes.BUT! i might write other fandoms. i dunno. undecided yet, i suppose. i love writing, and i love you guys. i'm sorry for making you wait, so here you go 

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frank's eyelashes fluttered against his cheek as he inhaled, fanning delicately over his pale skin. gerard watched curiously. how could one human look so ethreal? he exhaled the smoke in a single, smooth breath, before opening his eyes and flicking them to lock with gerard's. hazel eyes met and the two found themselves smiling, sitting across from one-another on frank's tiny balcony in manhattan. 

"what?" he asked quietly, almost breathlessly. "what're you looking at?" frank continued, tilting his head lightly. his grown, brown curls draped over his forehead, and gerard's lips quirked, before he leant over and brushed them to the side. 

"you, my love," he replied, lips curling into a smile as frank's began to burn bright red. "you're so gorgeous." 

"not so bad yourself," he grinned, tapping gerard's hand away. the two continued to gaze at one another, eyes trailing with no purpose other than to look. gerard's hair had grown, too, only to be cut off again. he kept complaining about the feeling of it on his shoulders. it was mussed from being played with, dark and unkempt, but still looked flawless.

frank took another drag from his vape, and gerard sipped his tea. 

"you look silly when you do that," the older man commented, and frank rolled his eyes. 

"you know it's to help me quit smoking- it helped you," he quipped, and gerard giggled.

"yeah but- mine at least looked like a cigarette. yours is- whassit called again?"

"juul," frank huffed, but the two locked eyes again and began to laugh. "you're right, it does look dumb. i look like a fourteen year old." 

"cute, though. and i'm glad you're trying to stop, too." 

a silence fell, the two looking back out to new york's skyline, city lights all around them brightening up the night-time. a wave of cold air rolled over the two, but they barely noticed. frank looked up at the blank night sky and gerard watched as his head tipped back, skin practically glowing under the bright lights of the city.

gerard picked his sketchbook up from the ground and flicked to his most recent page, twirling his pencil around his fingers as he studied frank's form again, before looking down to the paper and beginning to draw. 

the scrapes of pencil against paper were all that frank could hear, even though there were sirens and voices and engines in the distance. inside the apartment, behind the pair, frank's laptop lay on the coffee table, closed. their phones sat next to it, on silent as to not interrupt this moment. an acoustic guitar rested against the back of their couch and a pride flag hung from the wall. it looked so much different to when it had months ago. 

the moment felt like it could last forever- and perhaps it did. frank looked back to his laptop, and then turned to gerard, who had his eyes focused on the page. he swallowed. to think- or not to. frank sighed, smiling again. 

deciding against speaking, deciding against bringing anything up to shatter this moment, frank turned his head back to the unending sky. he sighed again, and a breath of smoke came with it. maybe the moment ended eventually, and maybe it didn't. all frank knew was that he was calm. and all gerard knew was that he was grateful- he was grateful for so much, for quitting his job, for lindsey, for frank. 

maybe the moment ended. maybe, it didn't. but with one last look at his laptop, frank closed his eyes and smiled.