By Chance (Accidentally In Luck #1)

28. Regrets May Be Pointless, But They Still Hurt- E

*E*

Well, I fucked that up spectacularly.

That was pretty much my only thought as I watched Cora's back retreating down the hallway.

I hadn't meant to yell at her, I really hadn't, but when I saw her tear-stained, distraught face waiting at the door of the room I know Jay had just been wheeled into, I couldn't help it.

She'd kissed him! Or he'd kissed her! It didn't really matter which to me.

My brother and almost-girlfriend had played me and I'd let it happen right behind my back.

I felt like a complete idiot.

No, I felt like a complete and pissed off idiot.

As much as I tried, I couldn't keep the image of the kiss from assaulting my brain yet again.

Suddenly, I didn't feel so bad about yelling.

Immediately following that, I felt worse about it.

I sighed and leaned back against Jay's door, resting my head on it too and closing my eyes. I knew I owed Cora the chance to explain, but part of me didn't want to hear what could only be the inevitable. I didn't want to hear that she and Jay had gotten together and were just biding their time.

I didn't want to hear that she didn't want me.

The worst part is that I was mad at Jay. From the time that we'd met, we'd never had an argument that either lasted or mattered, and part of me knew that this one would. I could never hate him, but I could sure as hell resent him.

Especially if I had to watch him and Cora be happy together when it should be me and Cora.

She's my Pip, not his.

But maybe that's not my choice anymore.

I wasn't really sure that I believed they were together, but the evidence was piling up.

I fought back the tears I felt coming, but suddenly I felt a single tear make its way past my closed eyes and down my face and at the same second, I heard light footsteps in front of me.

Wearily, I opened my eyes to see... Cora? She looked nervous and terrified and worried and I had absolutely nothing to say to her.

"Theo..." Her voice came out soft, like she had more to say but didn't know how or what that was going to be.

"You're back?" I asked, hating how my hoarse my voice came out. She didn't need to know that I felt this strongly about it.

She nodded, her mouth open, ready to speak, but I couldn't let that happen. If this was gonna be brought up, it was going to be me that did it.

So it turned out I did have something to say to her. "How long? How long have you two been... together?" There was no better way to ask it. Why don't I just punch myself in the face while I'm at it?

Her mouth snapped shut and she shook her head. "Theo, we're not together."

My tore up brain didn't quite get that. "But-"

"Theo." She interrupted, barely pitching her voice over mine "He was delusional. He thought he was kissing Elle."

For half a second, I wondered how Jay could make such a distinct error, but then I remembered the reason we're in this situation and mentally slapped myself. I felt a wave of relief roll over me and then slowly but steadily the guilt made its presence known again. "You mean, he was kissing you, but in his head you were really Elle?" She nodded, but I was still a bit skeptical. "How do you know?"