minnow // sirius black

five

5: Wolfdog

I was truly surprised that nobody was aware that Sirius and I were dating.

Our friends knew we fancied each other, but both of us made it clear that even if that were true, dating isn't an option. Not until I was healthier.

Yet, still, each day as I got stronger, James would greet me with "Healthy enough yet?". I never responded, simply rolling my eyes and going to walk with or sit with Lily. Whenever I wasn't with Lily, which was rarely, I was either with James and Remus, or Sirius. If I wasn't with any of them, I was alone, technically with Biscuit.

The time I spent with Sirius was typically him telling me stories of his childhood, how he was always the black sheep. He told me how his parents started trying to introduce him to pure-blooded witches when he was 12, even if they were cousins. More recently, we spent a lot of time in the Forbidden Forest, running together as our animagi. There were several times when we'd end up laying down in an opening. Sirius always laid in the shadows, as I laid in the sun. There was one time that Lily found us laying in a clearing together, just staring at one another.

She didn't interrupt us, but she told me she had seen us a few days later.

I confided in her something that I didn't even feel comfortable telling Sirius.

"When I'm in my animagus form, I feel so comfortable and safe with Sirius. I feel so utterly at peace, that I forget that I'm human. I forget that he's my best friend. When we're wolfdogs, together, it's so natural. Apparently, my animagi didn't get the memo that we were not in love."

"You will be, Min. There's no doubt that you two are soulmates. You're the definition of soulmates. In the dictionary, it's literally a picture of the two of you," Lily said, a smile on her face. There was no hint of teasing. "It's a matter of time before you fall in love, and it will be before you are ready."

"Someone has been talking to their owl too much," I teased, not meeting her eyes.

She was right, and boy did I hate it.

By the end of November, my health had improved to a place that I couldn't remember it ever being like. I felt so good, all the time. And everyone noticed, which made me super uncomfortable, as it brought more of the "Healthy enough?" questions.

Including from Sirius.

We'd spent two days in a row together, alone. The first day was spent running as wolfdogs, and the second had been spent in the Astronomy tower, watching the clouds go by, basically cuddling under a thick blanket.

It had been a perfect moment, and then Sirius spoke.

"What do we do now?" I furrowed my brows, but didn't look away from the sky.

"What do you mean?"

"You feel better. You're so much healthier than basically ever before. Your getting constant good blood, and you haven't had a day in over two weeks," He rubbed the back of my ribs. "Your lungs are fully healed."

I sighed, fighting annoyance and dread.

"I've been waiting for you to start asking if I was healthy enough," I felt immediate guilt for sounding so accusatory. He was entitled to ask, just as I would be if the situation was reversed. But it didn't change the fact that I'd been dreading it. "I don't know what you want me to say."

"I just want to know if you want to be open, or... just what you want."

"I want this. I want us, just the way we are," I said, finally looking at him. He had this nervous look on his face. "I want this to continue, I just don't know if I want to be more open."