minnow // sirius black

fourty-four

44 ;   announcements

I refused to tell Sirius, or James, what happened with Walburga. I refused to tell them what she did that upset me so much.

When I got home, I stopped trying so hard to control my magic, which was likely not a good idea. My coffee table fell apart, the dining room table split in half, and the tea kettle practically exploded. After that happened, many of the plates in the cabinets broke at the same time part of the couch caught on fire.

Dean and Sirius were in fix-it mode for nearly five minutes before they told me to go outside.

I guess the last straw was when I caught Dean's jacket sleeve on fire.

It wasn't on purpose, and while I felt incredibly guilty, I didn't try to apologize before I relocated.

So, I went and sat outside. I forced myself to breath, in and out, and channel the magic into creating little birds around me.   

By the time I was calm enough to go back inside, Sirius had gone to get James and Esme. I found it extremely condescending that he had gotten my brother, whether to calm me down or to coax an explanation out of me, I wasn't sure. I was not happy about it though.

I told James that it was nothing; she was just interrogating me about Regulus. I did not back down from that stance.

The boys still wouldn't drop it.

Truth being, I didn't want them to know that Walburga had been able to get me angrier than I'd ever been by simply mentioning my parents. I did not want them to know that I was not through that. I did not want James to stay at my house for the next three weeks trying to coax me into talking to him.

I was not good at talking.

By nightfall, James had gone home, while Sirius sat beside me on the couch. We watched Esme play with her toys, silent and not touching.

Although I wasn't angry at Sirius, he seemed to think that if he touched me, I'd flare up again and break something. Or, he simply didn't think he needed to touch me.

I would've liked to hold his hand, but just as I was not good at talking, I was not good at initiating simple displays of affection.

Perhaps I was shy, or maybe I was just awkward. I didn't know, and nobody would tell me.

As Esme began to yawn, I glanced at the time. I stood up, scooping my daughter into my arms as I carried her into her bedroom. I tucked her in, read her a story, and kissed her forehead. As soon as she was asleep, I went into my own bedroom.

Shortly after, Sirius followed. Not a word was spoken, and it felt as though my heart was constricting.

"She got under my skin," I said quietly as I faced away from him. "She used Regulus to get under my skin, and then continued to twist an existing knife."

As I watched myself laugh, my arms high in triumph, Sirius shifted from beside me.

"Marry me."

My entire body felt like someone held an open wire to my foot. I jerked into a sitting position, turning half of my body to face Sirius as he watched me.

A tiny velvet box in one of his hands.

"What?"

The next time that I saw James was just after Christmas. He had been too busy with the Order, and I'd been too busy planning my wedding.

We hadn't been able to celebrate Christmas with each other, which was disappointing, but we dealt. Telling James was sort of my Christmas gift to him.