Fix Me (Sequel to Deadly in Love)

Chapter 34

(Justin's pov)

-4am-

It was still pitch black when I woke up. It's wayyy too early, so I rested my head back on the pillow.

. . .

I can't sleep. What the fuck? I've tried for an hour already. Christie was still sleeping soundly. I stood up and used the bathroom. Maybe if I just wash up a bit, I'll be sleepy enough. I opened my small bag and noticed the light pink envelope. I sighed and grabbed it. I reread the front again before carefully opening it. Knowing that my mom wrote this, touched this gave me goosebumps and made me sad inside. Inside the envelope was 5 folded sheets of paper. I slowly took the first one out, and opened it. The words were sloppy, but I could read it.

"Dear Justy,

I miss you being around during the night. How come you always leave? Daddy says you're hanging out with friends and helping them out. I like how you always play dress up and have tea parties with me. Remember that time I dressed you up like a princess and did your hair and makeup. That was silly. I'll see you later.

Love,

Jazzy"

I barely just noticed I was crying. I couldn't stop. It hurt and I missed them. The reason I was there as often was because I was helping out Rico and constantly asking Khalil, Za, and Ryan to help me find Rico whenever he decided to go on a mission without us. He was our leader, and my best friend. I calmed down, and opened the next piece of paper. The writing was sloppy too.

"Dear Justy,

Mommy says you get in trouble a lot. Why? Does it have to do with that guy you brought over once? How come he doesn't visit anymore? You know that time you asked who ate all the cookies? It was me. I'm sorry. I've never seen you get mad before. Do you ever get so mad that you break a window? I did that once, and mommy got mad. I'll probably be in bed when you get home so, goodnight.

Love,

Jaxon"

Ok that's enough for tonight. I can't take it. I think it's impossible to run out of tears right now. I brought Rico over once to my house, but then stopped, because he was overdoing the whole gang thing. Yea, I did get in trouble a lot at school, on the streets, but never at home. If I ever got mad, I would never take it out on my family. Rico was the main reason I got in trouble. He got me into drugs and all this gangster shit. If my family were still alive, they would not be happy with me at all. I put the paper back in the envelope, and put it back in the bag. It was 5am now. I was sad, upset, hurt inside. It hurt to think of my family. I was a mess inside, so I popped a few pills before lying back down next to Christie. Once they kicked in, I felt numb and dead inside. No feelings, no emotions, no meaning to anything. Anything that meant a lot to me 15 minutes ago means nothing now.

-10am-

I couldn't sleep at all. It fucking sucks. I wish my life wasn't so hard. I don't want this anymore, but I'm trapped in this pit of anger and sadness. It's pointless.

"What are you thinking about?"

A soft whisper asked. I came face to face with the most beautiful girl.

"Nothing. Did you just wake up?"

I asked.

"Yea"

She breathed out.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Let's go"

I stood up, Christie doing the same thing. I made sure to take one pill to make the feelings go away, so I don't accidentally hurt Christie. When I walked out, there was a random girl sitting on the couch next to Ryan.