There's Always Tomorrow (Prequel to BWYDT)

Chapter 21

A/N: I'm just going to let you all read this and see what you have to say...

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Lauren's time in Chicago had been filled with career highs and personal lows. When she and Adrianne first arrived, the woman's family welcomed her back with wide arms and wide smiles, but once they settled in, things began to change. It wasn't going from hot to cold, or from them loving her to them hating her. It was nothing that black and white. The only way Lauren could wrap her mind around it was to say that they began to see her as family. And while that meant she had people who would always be there to help her or support her, be that shoulder to lean on if Adrianne wasn't around, that also meant that they had become comfortable enough with her that it was no longer all smiles of encouragement, but honest family-bound criticism. Just like any family, everyone always had an opinion and now they felt free to share it.

It especially didn't help that Lauren and Adrianne had started to drift apart. That creative side of Lauren that the brunette had loved and even been jealous of had been stimulated while training with well-known photographers and always seemed to be moving, leaving the other woman far behind, struggling to keep up. Adrianne was a lawyer, a debater, an arguer. Not a creative soul. Their topics of discussion were always about business or something Lauren was excited to be working on. All Adrianne had was her family. Beyond them, she was living in Lauren's world where the raven-haired excelled and found her own while Adrianne was unable to keep up.

But turning to her family for support was only proving to make things worse. Lauren was welcome and loved as a woman and part of the tight-knit clan, but even Marie wasn't happy with Lauren's performance as her daughter's girlfriend. There were the moments of cuddling on the couch, the hand holding as they walked in the store of down the street. The moments where Lauren would whisper something in her daughter's ear and send her into a fit of laughter and Marie would watch Lauren beam. But nothing felt right about it when it happened. As she once told her husband, it was as if Adrianne existed purely for Lauren's comfort. She was there, but only tended to when the raven-haired was in the right mood or not distracted by her thoughts. Adrianne's needs and desires weren't important.

And to be honest, as Lauren stood in the door of her and Adrianne's bedroom watching the brunette sleep, that's pretty much what it had become. Lauren had what she needed and feared to let it go. She had her creative outlet. She had that desire to push herself now. And after having Adrianne with her for so long, someone who understood her and loved her better than her own parents, she couldn't stand the thought of losing her. She still loved her, but not like she was supposed to for someone who had been dating her for two years now.

She knew it was unfair and she knew it was cruel, but every morning she woke up, kissed the brunette, and told her that she loved her. Because she did love her. She just wasn't in love with her.

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The next day the couple spent their time sitting around the house. Adrianne had planned on going out but Lauren had fallen into one of her newly developed creative moods where she knew she wanted to do something with a photo or an idea, but couldn't put her finger on what exactly it was. So now the brunette sat on the couch watching TV while Lauren scribbled on pieces of paper while her eyes were glued at something outside the window. She was lost in thought and Adrianne left her to it. She didn't really mind when the raven-haired feel into these slumps, but when they hit the three-hour mark like this one, she just felt lonely. Her girlfriend was there, but not at the same time. She couldn't hold a conversation or even acknowledged her existence. It wasn't that she was trying to be cruel, she was just mentally gone.

"I've got it." Lauren nearly shouted as she jumped up from her seat and grabbed her jacket off the back of her chair.

"Got what?" The brunette asked as the beaming photographer raced by, stopping to give her a quick kiss before moving to the door.