Let me in (Lams AU) [On hold (?)]

Chapter 3

~Alexander~

I was grateful John wouldn't pressure me to tell him where I'm from. I just hope I don't have to tell him everything.

Let's get something straight, unlike me. I know my life is pretty fucked up, but I'd rather leave my past back on the islands.

"Okay well, I'm gonna go to sleep. Goodnight." He said before going to his bed and engulfing himself in the duvet. He looked adorable as he curled into a ball with the blanket wrapped around him. I looked at my phone and noticed it was 2am.

I hadn't slept in a while so maybe it's a good idea to go to sleep. I slowly shut my laptop and stumbled over to my bed. I slowly pulled the duvet over myself. I continued to stare at the ceiling, attempting to sleep. I finally fell asleep after what felt like forever.

I was at my old house with my mother in nevi. We were sick and she was holding me.

We were very ill. I was nearly on the verge of death, but my mother was worse. I felt her heart rate slow down.

"Maman" I questioned as her heart rate continued to slow down.

"Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept, huit, neuf"  She whispered to me. "Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept, huit, neuf" I quietly sung.

"Good. Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six-" She sung, but didn't continue. "Maman!" I cried as I didn't feel her heartbeat.

I shot up. I let out a shaky breath and looked at the time, 4AM. I had no plan on going back to sleep in fear of reliving another moment from my life in Nevi. Instead I pulled out my notebook and a pencil, beginning to rapidly write about my mother, trying to get out my feelings on the paper.

I stopped writing and looked at the time and it was 7 in the morning. Oh wow I've been writing for 3 hours straight. Honestly, not that shocking or new.

I glanced over and saw John sitting up in his bed, staring at me. I had just realized I had used almost all of the journal. I gave a silent weak chuckle as I shut the journal and put it under my bed.

"When did you first wake up?" He asked me. I turned around and signed, "4AM" He looked at me with a confused face. "Why?" Was all he simply asked. I shrugged, not wanting to explain the real reason. He sighed at my response. He seemed to be thinking of something.

I grabbed my bag and headed to my lecture. Of course that Jefferson guy was walking by, glaring at me but he walked straight down the halls and towards someone's dorm room. I ignored it and continued down to where my lecture was being held.

~John~

I woke up to someone violently writing something on a piece of paper. I opened my eyes and saw Alex sitting up on his bed and vigorously writing in a journal with his pencil. I couldn't stop my mind from wondering what he was writing.

He seemed to be very focused on what he was writing since he rapidly wrote on multiple pages and flipped them almost every other minute. I sat up and looked at the clock, it was seven in the morning.

Alex glanced over and saw me staring at him writing. He quickly closed the journal, putting it under his bed in a moment of seconds. I saw him give a silent chuckle, but it was a very weak one.

"When did you first wake up?" I asked him as he sat back on his bed. "4AM" He signed. I looked at him very confused, was he writing for 3 hours straight? I was going to ask that, by instead asked, "Why?" He simply shrugged to my question. I gave a silent sigh to his response.

There are so many things about him that I have yet to figure out, but he obviously isn't going to tell me anytime soon.. Why doesn't he talk about where he's from? Why was he writing furiously in his journal? I have so many questions and no answers.

I was taken out of my thoughts by the door shutting behind Alex. I sighed and laid my back down on the bed, pulling out my phone and playing some games.

I heard a knock at the door and was very confused. I sat up and walked over to the door, slowly opening it and looking out. Jefferson was at my door.

"H-hey, uh I need to tell you something.." He slightly stuttered. I raised an eyebrow, but let him in since I've never heard him stutter.

~Alexander (After his lectures)~

I walked back to my dorm and was met with none other than Jeffershit blocking my way. My eyebrows furrowed together.

"Hey shorty I got a little something." He said, holding up a journal. When he opens the journal I recognize all the writing, it was my journal. How does he have it? My eyes widened.

"Bastard, orphan, son of a whore, immigrant." He mocked, reading through the journal. I felt tears threatening to push out. I push them back and keep a straight face, trying to seem unfazed.

"Where did you get that?" I signed, trying to block out all the information he has. He gave a devilish grin seeming to be amused.

"Let's see, how about you stay out of my way. Maybe even do a bit of my work? Just do as I say and no one will find out what's in this journal." He sneered.

"I will not give into what you are doing." I signed, getting angrier by the minute. He punched me in the face, like yesterday, and walked off with my journal in his hand.

I rushed back to the dorm, but Jefferson's words stuck in my head. Bastard, orphan, son of a whore, immigrant. I felt the tears pushing past my eyes as I reached the door. I walked in and didn't see John so I locked the door and sat down on my bed.

I put my head in my hands as I sat on the edge of the bed and silently sobbed. He knows, I am ruined. Everyone will find out about the life I tried leaving behind. I let out another shaky sob as I knew I would either have to give in or have everyone know about my past life.

I grabbed out my blade and slid it across my arm, releasing a bit of stress. I quickly threw the blade back in the drawer and sat back down on my bed. I sighed and walked to the bathroom. I looked at myself to see a bloody nose and the black eye from yesterday, fun. I took my hair out of the ponytail to try and release some stress.

I walked out and was met with John sitting on his bed, sketching something. He looked up at me and wore a concerned look. "What happened?!" He asked, coming up to me and holding my face in his hands.

"Nothing, it's fine really. I'm fine." I'm not fine, but I can't tell you. He gave a small sigh, grabbing my hand and leading me to the bathroom and fixing up my nose. I liked the warmth from his hand..

A/N

What'd I miss?

M'kay y'all so here is your chapter for the day :3 I'll see y'all in the next one!

~Madison