The Pen-Pal Project (Larry Stylinson + Niam Horayne)

-Letters from Hall Cross-

Hazza,

Today at school i was shot. there was an invasion of MI9 and Niall broke someones neck and then choked on a skittle... it was traumatic to say the least. So yes, i was shot down and killed! it hurt wonders! especially when i flung myself into a bush...

I hate the fact an egg plant is called an egg plant. It's been bothering me all day! It doesn't grow eggs, so why the hell is it called an egg plant? it should be called a... grossplant.

I've gone off topic, basically Myself, Niall, Stan, Kevin, Jimmy and Perrie pranked the Georgaphy teacher into having a nervous breakdown. Just a normal day really. 

bumped into Doreen the dinner lady on the way home, so i stopped her

Sexually Amazing Beast Aka me: Doreen! Wassup?  (at this she looked up at the sky)

Doreen: just the sky i think, why?

SABAM: laugh out loud, Oh sweet carrots Doreen, you're so funny

D: Thanks?

SABAM: how was your day?'

D: The usual serving people in the lunch line

SABAM: It's weird seeing you out of the kitchen, it's un natural, i thought you lived in there, behind the prep station or something. it's weird to think you have a life

D: Thank's for that Lewis

SABAM: My name is Louis, it has a silent 'S'

D: well my name's Vanessa, it has a silent 'Doreen'

SABAM: It was lovely to talk to you, but i have to go, my goldfish is dead

Needless to say i bolted it out of there quickly.

How dare you say i'm an awful artist. I think you'll find i'm totally in lead with leonardo de caprio, or something, is he an actor? or the artist? if it's the actor, he still drew amazingly in the titanic. I do take offence to that. but you put it on your wall, so i guess you're forgiven. For now!

Mum bought a new toaster, and i've been banned from using it. How unfair is that? So totally unfair! what if i wanted a bagel? or a crumpet?

I'm so happy you're out of the hospital, it means your better and i dont need to worry about you, although i still will because you're a melon.

Zayn, i feel sorry for him. My mum has never flirted with Niall, thank gravy.

Don't cha wish your possum was hot like me... no but really i really with i had a possum. They are cute and stuff.

when your a unicorn, i'm going to take you home and then we'll live together, i'll keep you safe and maybe i'll turn into a unicorn, you know, i may get a bit of spontaneous unicorniousness too. Then we can live as unicorns together in a cave in the middle of a forest, and we can go and watch the sun rise and set, and make friends with animals there.  like.... possums.

I almost wet myself at your locker story, so i drew a picture of you under a locker, hope you like it :) I'm not sure why i draw you pictures, you obviously don't appreciate them. 

MELONITIS - I think i have this too, the ability to make your self look like a boob when you try to look cool. always at inappropriate moments of time. IT'S AN INVOLUNTARY CURSE!

Awhh Harreh you must attract guys to you, you penis magnet you! You're just to sexy for them to resist. but i'll stroke your ferret any day of the week,