Dark Paradise

Chapter 15

~ What screws us up the most in life is the picture in our head of how it's suppose to be

I barely made it to the airport this morning, with thoughts on my family I barely got any sleep in the past few days. I over slept this morning thank god I had Rosie or I'd still be under the sheets enjoying some sleep.

I barely spoke any words to Ethan, neither did I wish too. But usually he'd make an effort to talk to me. To be honest he seemed pretty stressed out to me. In the past hour he had drank three coffees and it looked like he didn't get much sleep either.

"Hey are you okay? You seem a bit stressed out and not your overly confident self." I asked him as we sat in his private jet. It's been two hours and his eyes has not left those damn papers and I can almost feel all his stress.

"I'm just peachy." He said sarcastically, I rolled my eyes at his comment.

"Yes and I'm a man. Now come on and spill Ethan. Not once have you've been your cocky flirty self something is up." I urged him. Finally he set his papers down and looked up.

"You really wanna know Belinda?" He asked. I nodded my head.

"Everything is wrong. Since Harry is such a screw up guess who gets all the family's business. Me. Guess who is expected to take care of my dad's business and soon become the head. Me. Guess who is expected to be married in less then two years. Me. Everything is on me. Harry thinks he has it bad. Ha I wish. I would trade my dads love for his hate any day just so I could do what ever the hell I wanted. It's all on me. If I screw up the whole family screws up. It's finally just all stressing me out." He breathed out as he slumped back in his chair. Out of the two years I've known Ethan, he's always been composed and well put together. So seeing him fall apart in front of me is new. I didn't know his life was so unhappy. And here I thought he was living a rich mans paradise, but in all truth his paradise was just as dark as mine.

"What do you really want to do with your life?" I asked him, the question caught him a bit off guard.

"Umm I wanted to be a fire fighter. It's silly but the idea if it always interested me. But here I am stuck as CEO of the fashion business. It's good money trust me on that. But I feel as if something is missing. How about you? Besides a designer what do you want?" Ethan questioned back.

"I want to be happy." I answered simply.

"I don't think you understood my question Belinda. Like a singer model, millionaire." He stated.

"Or maybe you don't understand life." I shot back, all I ever really wanted was happiness. And I'm still looking for it. I'm happy now, but things could be better.

"Hmmm maybe I don't." Ethan mumbled. "But in that case what I desire the most my dear Belinda is a love so deep that even the ocean would be jealous." Ethan stated.

"Now you're thinking Ethan. So you want to be in love?" I asked him.

"Yes, one night stands don't do much for me, I haven't had one in two months and I feel the same. But I'd like to wake up to the same face every morning. You know have that special connection with someone. Who can be my lover and bestfriend." He went on. "And you want to be happy huh?" He asked.

"Yea I do. I always say to keep smiling because life is such a beautiful thing and there is so much to smile about. That and the prettiest thing you can wear is your smile." I say pausing and smiling, eventually he returned my smile.

"Yea and I'd like my first marriage to be my only marriage." Ethan went on saying.

"I know what you mean, love is cute when it's new, but love is the most beautiful when it lasts." I added on. He nodded in agreement. For the rest of the flight we talked about happiness and love, and I got to know a side of Ethan I don't think anyone really knew. And I was glad I got to see it. If he would've introduced himself like this, then maybe things would be different between us.

***********************

As soon as we landed in Greece we went straight to two meetings that lasted hours. I was like the only women in the room each time. And it really made me feel uncomfortable, I hated the way men stared at me, they had one of two looks. Either lust, like they never saw a woman before, or like I was less then them. But you know what I love it when people underestimate me, seeing the stupid expression on their faces after they see what I can really do is priceless. I know my business and what I do, I'm not just snobby rich girl. And maybe that's why Ethan trusted me to join him on his big trips, this hadn't been the first time.

"You did great." Ethan complimented as we walked back in to the hotel.

"Thanks, what's the schedule for tomorrow?" I questioned as we stood in the elevator waiting for it to take us to the top floor.

"I have four meetings but you only need to assist me to one of those. Then you have the rest of the day to explore Greece, who knows you might get some inspiration. It's a beautiful place." Ethan said, we got out of the elevator and went out separate ways to our suits. I think he needed to clear everything up in his head, as did I. It was about time I called my grandparents as well, I didn't call often but I tried at least once a week or so.

I dialed my grandmothers number, I had no clue what time it would be in California, or where ever the hell she was. She'd always travel between California, Mexico and Spain. Though she'd advise when she was in Spain so she was either in Mexico or California.

The phone rang twice before I heard her voice.

"¿ Bueno?" She questioned. It took me a while to answer back.

"Hola nana, it's me Belinda how have you been?" I greeted.

"Oh Belinda I've missed hearing your voice, not as much as I miss seeing you though. But I've been good and so has abuelito."

"That's great. Ummm how about the rest?" I asked the question that's been eating me alive for the last 3 years. Since I left never had I questioned my grandmother about my family. I thought it was a subject best not talked about. There was a long pause before she spoke.

"Ummm they've been good... But they really do miss you. It's been hard on them. They regret the way they treated you. Ummm they think you're dead, but even now they have hope you're alive and healthy. And safe. It's hard mija to act like I don't know anything, lying to my own sons eyes, especially when he seems so broke. Please promise me that soon you'll pay them a visit. They really need to know you're safe and alive." My grandmother begged. I could hear the desperation in her voice. I don't know if I was sad or happy about their reaction. They actually felt sorry and missed me.

"I promise nana I will. Soon trust me. I can't avoid it forever. After this weeks fashion show, I'm expected to become more famous over there in America. In Europe I'm well known but I'm spreading out. And knowing my mother and sister who love fashion I'm sure they'll hear about me. So I won't be able to avoid them forever." I told her.

"Thank you mija, by the way I will be attending your show, your grandfather won't be able to come but I will. I told your mom and dad that it was for some vacation time in Spain. They fell for it, you know their so busy with the family business." She said, I couldn't help but smile that my grandmother would be here with me on a very special day for me. I missed her so much, I'm glad she was coming.

"Thanks nana I'll see you then, te amo mucho. Besos para ti y abuelito." I said.

"Yo también mija, adiós." I hung up and fell on the bed. Today had been a stressful day. But like always I have to push myself forward, I wanted this, everything came to easy for me before, and I felt like my family or my money did it all for me. When I knew I was capable of more, and I am. So far I've been doing everything on my own. Sure I accept help when offered, my parents were to proud to ever except any type of help, unless it was from the servants. And I proved them wrong. I'm proving them all wrong. And I'm still not finished.