Poetry: Symmetry and Reflections

Part of Me

my ropes are tied, so take me
take dominion over again, so completely
my bitter surrender
this spiritual offender
I, the puppet and you, the marionette
I willingly pay again, the price is set
I let you consume me, only in vain
so spit me out , these wasted remains
surpassing my time and wasting it
doing with me what you see fit
I cannot let the others know
but I cannot ever let you go.

my most coveted, thorn in my side
my weakness that I feel I must hide
I love you even through the grit and grime
I hate you and yet still run to you every time
running so hard in circles, around the bend
this sick carousel, let's go round again
always ensnaring, this good that I feel
but it can't be, this fodder is not real
distracting me, leading me astray
retracting me from good, to fight another day.

invade my thoughts, a symbiote to me
that I want to go away, leave me be
taking what i want and twisting it, contorting
into things that should not be
passion turned into something else, my muse of regret
to make me feel better, my unhealthy outlet.

i cannot let you go, as you're part of me
the hardest thing to do, to not be me
to deny myself this that I want and do not
and so give in, more struggle I've wrought
ever shall I go to it, always trying to follow
to only sift through my hands
and make me feel so hollow.

somewhere there is a place for me
a place between conviction and mercy
it's always there, but I get lost
feeling that I'm paying the cost
but I cannot, will not stop trying to win
for that is my burden, my endless sin.