Poetry: Symmetry and Reflections

Passed Over

Here it goes again and I'm along for this ride
again staring at this empty seat by my side
I hear "don't worry you're such a great guy"
so if its so true, why do I get passed by?
such questions and thoughts I have plenty inside
if only there were clues that life could provide

I've tried being patient, and had my fill
I've tried being forward, yet had no appeal
I"ve tried not caring, but passion was killed
I've cared too much, and it only made ill
it seems I'm locked in some militant drill
over and over I swallow and choke on this pill

It's probably as always, just me in my head
looking for food when I'm already fed
if only to be new, this old skin I'd shed
and leave old worries lying in this grave dead
I'd finally put down this worry to bed
yet I know if they knew me they'd want me instead

Some days I'm just fine and simply don't care
until I see others with connection that's shared
and again I wrestle with this cross that I've bared
and where this search takes me I don't know where
and despite having more and knowing God's there
I wonder if I'm desired and how well I will fare

Are any of these perceptions true, are any real?
am I exaggerating all these things that I feel?
I cannot let this be idol to kneel
yet always I take bite, and so I am reeled
I'd love to be strong, a man made of steel
yet even then this kryptonite vexes, my Achilles heel

If bad omens are true than I live with these crows
I can't stand such queries of which I can't know
perhaps there are no lands for my seeds to grow
and though sad I press on, too curious for tomorrow
and what's crazier is knowing another shares this same sorrow
and thus I beg to thee, please leave these breadcrumbs to follow