Poetry: Symmetry and Reflections

Closing This Chapter

How could you be this way to me?

when I trusted you with all my love

but I guess your true colors just bleed right through

when this push comes to shove

I thought that I knew you, and that you pledged

to give it all you could

if only I'd paid more attention I'd have known

where it is that you truly stood

which is on the backs of others

to make things go your way

you only see black and white with everything

never considering shades of gray

how could you have so much good?

then turn and throw it away

I should have known that you're the type

to make up reasons to walk away.

You only see the outside without ever delving in

because if others looked close at you

then they'd see all your sin

You claim you're such a saint

but if we're being honest it's only sinner

the more i think about it all

the more this patience grows thinner

your tongue speaks out of both sides

your hypocrisy masked by deception and lies

you want others to think you've got it all together

feigning to be a friend but at best you're fair-weather

you'd rather hide from everyone

so they'll see you only as grand

and you refuse to see things that's not your way

an ostrich's head in the sand.

I hope that you're satisfied now

with how things all occurred

and chances are you'll never change

because of lessons you'll never learn

so I resist this urge to find pictures of you

to rip apart and burn

because unlike you I'll take bad with good

even though things took that turn

So what is it about you exactly

that makes you so fucking special?

because you're smart or have achievements

and special, shiny medals?

I'll tell you now people won't remember you most

by status, money, or looks

what they'll remember is how you treat them

and what you gave versus what you took

I can only really blame myself now

for being blind to who you are

but with this lesson I'll look harder up

in the sky to find my next shining star

I may come off as bitter

but truly that's not my intent

the best way that I can deal with this

is to turn and face this lament

I'll write you down on paper

to force you out of heart and mind

and revisit it when I need reminding

so next time around I'm not pressing rewind.

You're still my first with so many things

and I'd never change any of that

but my past is past, meaning I'll not regret

these things I can't take back

if I keep looking over my shoulder at the past

and let that fear of it all stun me

or act too cautious watching the ground

I'll never see the great blessings right in front of me

so I'm locking you up tight in this box of my heart

and putting this all behind me

I won't deny at all that you are a part

but I refuse to let this define me