A Life of Casting Shadows

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Once I was lost in shadow
a silhouette of all that had gone wrong
I felt out of sorts, misled and frustrated,
that expectations strung me along
I knew that things wouldn't be perfect
and that things that bend could break
But one by one, things came undone
so why couldn't I catch a break?

Why was this happening to me?
and where had I gone astray?
What had I done that God would allow
such things to come my way?
I cried out for answers so many times
and felt that silence was my only reply
So I chalked it all up, that I'm all out of luck
and He was no longer on my side

The shadow had grown, and became part of me
and the brightest of light seemed so dim
It was all about me and what all had happened
and took all my focus away from Him
Even my thoughts darkened, so did my heart
so life all became a bad dream
And finally something had woken me up
then all was not as it seemed

I saw that all these things I wanted
were never things I deserved
And all that happened, were blessings instead
I looked to the wrongs things to yearn
As long as I looked to this shadow
and turned my gaze from the light
Even with gifts plenty, and blessings so many
I'd not see any when focused on plight

God casts his light on me so many times
throughout every up and down
It was all about which way I was looking
and making Him where my solace was found
If I got all that I deserved
it would be all justice without grace
And thanks to His love and unending mercy
I have a choice to be in a better place

So I thank my Lord now for all shadows cast
because I know there is always light behind it
And despite how I feel, His presence is real
He's just waiting for me to find it
A sinner I am, and will be 'til I die
and it's true that I fail Him every day
Yet even then, despite all my sin
He will always be there to carry this weight

So even when all my chips fall
I say let them fall where they may
Even when blue, I'll still trust in Him
No matter my feelings or what others say
He's the reason to keep going and living,
and for every breath that I take,
And throughout every trial and anything vile
His love for me will never forsake

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