Grant Me This

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Please grant me this moment of peace
thoughts running in my mind seems to not cease
endless they trudge through the mud of my past
so what good does it do , none! , troubling everlast
I feel I've moved on, so why does my mind ponder?
about what "could have" or "should have" of past yonder

Sometimes life happens, things slip out of control
sin shaked my foundation, and rocked my soul
bringing the death of happiness,

seeking what it devoured
and through this brokenness, i see that my perception was soured
because I'd put my trust into other things before You
like pleasing myself, and selfishness grew
anything else to give me happiness was all just a fraud
it replaced You, and became my new God
simply put, because they were of human design
you can't make life fulfilling if "fulfilled" is not defined

Please help me know true in my heart and understand
that when I feel I'm going nowhere I'm still in Your hands
I'm Your beloved child, for whom You'll never let go,
so why do I still fret so much on these things so?
help me to move on and know that what's done is done,
and not worry about things here under the sun
just because I've lost her, doesn't mean that I'm lost
for You've found me, and so there's no loss

Its just so hard Father when things seem to never to work out
every frail attempt I make seems to be snuffed out
I don't feel that I'm moved , forward or back
what is it i'm not doing? What is it I lack?
I feel i'm going in circles , a demented carousel
and If I'm going anywhere, could I even tell?

Am I just thinking too much, stuck inside my own head?
if so, to live in peace must I be brain dead?
No i can't! I have to life with something to feel
even if I feel bad, at least that something is real
hurt reminds us were alive, and that were still human
even in weakness, we live to go through them
how good would good feel, if there never was bad?
how can we know we're happy if we're never sad?

This life we live in just doesn't make sense
at times life seems to laugh at our expense
perhaps life is supposed to be a mystery and that s what its about
so then its our job to work it out
the ups and the downs, the smiles and the frowns
the laughs and the cries, and the reward and demise
luckily You're always here with us, our faithful alibi, by our side

Without even the bad, it truly would be bland
sometimes takes a while to understand
i can no longer live life in comparison, it steals too much joy
it does me no good, if anything destroys
my life is my life and no one else's
and there's much more important things
when you define what true wealth is
its time to live freely , with no such constraints
if you live unregretting, there is no complaints
bobbing and weaving, and moving with the flow
this beautiful disaster we call life, is more planned than we know
I just wanna love and live, and live to love more
so i thank you God, still
when you're opening, and closing those doors

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