The hijabi and the playboy

Chapter 18

Hellooooo lovelies!! I'm so sorry for the late update-exams are in a week and I've been drowning in exam reviews. I also cracked my phone today-not a surprise since I drop it everyday but the screens pretty bad now lol. My moms like "you idiot, is there a day u don't drop it?" I agree with her-there literally isn't a day I don't drop it lmao. Anyways I hope u guys like this chapter and I hope u comment and upvote!❤️❤️❤️ also this story's gonna get real interesting pretty fast so wait for future updates!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Jacob's pov
I woke up groggy and for a second, wondered where I was. I then recalled everything that happened last night and sighed, none of it was clearly a dream. I was still in the guest room after I went crazy yesterday and just like Carl said, I thought I stopped doing that- breaking everything and hurting myself in the process of it. But clearly that's not what happened. I still do stupid shit. My head hurt again and was throbbing as my hands felt somewhat sore and had the slightest sting. I looked down at my hands to see them both bandaged up. I guess Carl called Dr. Brown, he's a doctor that'd come to my house instead of me heading there.

Today was the day. I'd have to waste 2 hours of my life which I was never going to get back. I have find a girlfriend and pretend to like her for my messed up family. But for how long will I have to do this? I was so confused. How long will I have to keep pretending for and being so fake. I'm already tired of living like this, how am I supposed to do this for the next years?

I got up and headed to my room which was now cleaned up and everything that was decorative and that was on my desk was back there again even though most of the stuff I broke. Like the expensive lamp that was on my desk. I broke it yesterday and Carl seemed to have got the exact same one and put it on my desk exactly where it was. He memorized everything I had on my desk and bought the same items and put them in their exact spot. And in some ways I was happy but in other ways I wasn't. When I came in my room, it made me feel like everything that happened yesterday was just a dream, which would just make things seem like I was okay and that everything was okay. But it's not. I could feel myself changing and not for the better. I feel suffocated and trapped. Depressed and I don't know what to do. Now I also feel restricted and not free due to me being forced to be with someone. I also have to be fake to someone else now, and it's going to hurt them. It's not just me lying to myself anymore, especially if someone else is involved. And I remember I used to lie to so many girls, tell them I love them when I couldn't give a fuck. And would just use them for sex, because they were doing the same thing to me after all.

Until suraiya taught me that living like that was just going to be lonely. She taught me that some girls actually cared and they didn't deserve harsh treatment. And I listened to her, it made sense. I wouldn't treat every girl like I treated her even though that's what she asked, because the way I treated suraiya was for someone who was very very special to me. So I instead treated the girls more proper than I did before just to make her happy.

But then again I've returned to some old habits ever since she left. Like drinking, punching and ruining things and hurting myself in the process of it, being cold and mean to people. It's like I was the old me again, and I'm always scared that if suraiya comes back and she sees me like this she's going to be disappointed. And to be honest I'm disappointed with myself too. What happened to the me that loved kids because of their cheekiness? And was always anticipating going to the rink with soo so we could teach them how to skate. Or when I went with soo to the homeless center and gave food. Or the time she would take me to the mosque and I'd learn so many things. The mosque! That's it, suraiya always said that when her life was way too chaotic she'd always go to the mosque or she'd pray and listen to Quran. Since I was awake at 5 I still had time before heading to the blind dates and so I got ready and headed to the mosque. I texted Alex where I was in case I was late and so I changed got ready and headed to the mosque. Driving there made me nostalgic, remembering the times I'd go with suraiya.